Ladybug Fun!

Well it’s 2am and Seedling has decided it’s time to be AWAKE. So while I slowly walk in circles around my tiny apartment trying to rock her back to sleep, I figured the blog was overdue for an update. A few milestones we have hit here recently:
-seedling is 4 1/2 months old
-She is becoming more coordinated at reaching/grabbing/batting/pulling things. We have a dangling toy that plays music when you pull on it. Hubs yet or I have always been the ones to make it go, but this weekend she pulled hard enough to make it go herself!
-she’s generally losing interest in laying in her back to play, but doesn’t have the strength to sit unaided. Even with the boppy, or in her high chair with toys on the food tray, she can only last so long. The cool thing about high chair playtime is that she can watch me get chores done, and during mealtime we can still all be together even though Seedling isn’t eating solids yet.
-Thursday last week was the first time she’s shown interest of food. I had her on my knee while eating lentil soup at a church supper, and she was very much following the spoon!
-she is wearing 6-9 month tops, and 9+ month pants. Have I mentioned she’s always above average on the growth charts in height?
-she’s sucking her thumb. This has been going in for a little while now, but she’s much more coordinated at getting that digit in her mouth and keeping it there. She will chew on her other fingers as well, and drool… I’m just waiting for a tooth to pop up one of these days!
-all over her upper respiratory/eye infection/ear infection as far as I can tell. Yippee!
-much like her mom: hates the heat. We hit upper 80’s/possibly the 90’s today and she was miserable. Had to blot her with a cool damp cloth just so she could nurse. She’s living in just a onesie. We have every fan going and window open. It’s gonna be a long summer…

And now for some adorable ness that is high chair play time with her Eric Carl ladybug!

My Morning View

There are lots of reasons I love that we co-sleep.  But the number one?  Waking up with my daughter, and watching her wake up.  Take a peek at what I mean:

So peaceful when she is asleep.

 

She starts with some adorable streeeeetching…

 

 

Then she will s-l-o-w-l-y crack her lids open…

 

Followed by looking at me as if to say “Who the heck are you, where am I, and how did I wind up here?!” (AKA – waking up in Vegas)

 

“Hmm… wait… maybe it’s coming back to me now…”

Then the recognition starts…

 

The sleep haze is lifting…

 

“Oh YEAH!!!! You’re my mommy!  Hi mommy!!!”

Come on, is that not THE. BEST. way to start your day???  *Heart. Melt.*

Midnight Mumblings

Oh it’s been so long *sigh*.

– Last weekend Seedling was baptized into the Eastern Orthodox Church. It was so beautiful and moving, and I am so excited to share pictures with you all!

– Seedling is going through a growth spurt… Or something. Her sleep rhythm is all out of whack, she has been heart-breakingly cranky… Spending most of her time in the Ergo, frequent small-snack feedings. We are running on low, broken sleep. I’m just hoping we are on the upslope and on our way out of it…

– Hubster found a job! We are very excited to be able to pay our bills… But admittedly it comes with mixed emotions. With him being in school full time, he misses plenty, but he’s been able to spend time with Seedling in the morning. So far he has been having “Father-Daughter” day when I work on Saturdays. See, with Hubster covering Saturdays and my mom watching Seedling on Fridays, I only have to pay for daycare one day a week. Let me break down the math for you:
Daycare 1 day a week $200 a month.
Gas for a month about $160 a month.
My paycheck for a month about $400 a month.
So… Not a lot of wiggle if I have to pay for another day of daycare. But Hubsters new job? Full time, mornings Monday through Saturday. Which means I’m trying to figure out who will watch Seedling on Saturdays… I have some short term options with friends and family but nothing that will work long term… Also that means Hubster will go back to being home for about 5 or 6 hours. It breaks my heart he will miss out on time with Seedling. But also really overwhelming to think it will be back on me to take care of Seedling. I have gotten used to having Hubster be able to give me the occasional helping hand. I think back to when Seedling was first born and Hubster was working and going to school…. That was so hard. But I wasn’t working then. Now I’m working on top of it. It feels like too much. But I can’t just quit… What if Hubsters job doesn’t work out? We need me to have something to fall back on… It’s all just very complicated. I’m not explaining it very well. Low on sleep. Highly emotional. My daughter is fussing and needs some snuggles, so I’ll unpack it all, more, better, later.

All that matters is that I have a daughter to snuggle. The rest will work itself out. Right? Right.

She’s got the ‘flux

Working my way through “The Happiest Baby on the Block”, I’ve made lots of little changes to help manage the Midnight Fussies.

In doing so, I started to notice a bit of a pattern. Day and night, about 50% of her feedings she would scream. She would clearly be hungry, giving me lots of cues, but arch her back and pull off the nipple. Didn’t seem to matter if it was breast or bottle, my milk or formula. The only difference was she seemed easier to calm during the day when she was not as tired. And feeding her in the Ergo, sitting upright, helped about 90% of the time.

Friday night Hubster and I felt pretty convinced this was more than just the extra-fussy 6-7 week old time frame, but possibly gastric reflux. But of course the pediatrician was closed o er the weekend.

We got her in today, and after a brief exam (my 8 week old snuggle bug weighed in at 10lb 7oz!!!) and a description of the symptoms, our pediatrician agreed it sounded like reflux. (The pediatrician actually asked if we had noticed a few things and I was like “Yes! I didn’t even realize that was abnormal!”)

So per the insurance requirements we have to start with one medication our pediatrician said isn’t the most effective(ranitidine), but if in a weeks time we don’t think it’s improved than she can get us a better medication. Ah the politics of insurance crap…

She also said if she had some breakthrough reflux pain we could give a single dose of mylanta.

Tonight Seedling seemed pretty chill following her first dose but as the evening progressed the reflux symptoms reared up. We shall see what this next week brings.

So I’m up pacing the apartment as she fitfully dozes in the ergo. And I will leave you with some adorable pictures 🙂

The last one is from our little professional baby photo shoot ❤ all rights go to Camellia Images … To see more photos of that shoot you can read her blog at http://camellia-meet-baby.blogspot.com/2013/02/welcome-anastasia-tacoma-newborn.html?m=1

A more recent update

By all means, please read my post from earlier today. If for nothing else, to listen to the song that is *my* song to Seedling. But that was a post a month in the making. Here’s some more current news:

-Twice this week Seedling fell asleep before her standing 2am time slot. One was midnight. The other (last night) she fell asleep by 10:30, getting Hubster and me to bed by 10:45. And she stayed asleep until 5! * happy dance * of course I won’t expect that to happen tonight (I’d rather be pleasantly surprised than disappointed) but its an exciting step in the right direction. At 7 1/2 weeks old I’m thinking we are on the back slope of the fussiness bell curve.

-I cannot believe this Saturday she will be 8 weeks old!!!! She is officially out of newborn clothes, solidly in the 0-3 month sizes.

– I’ve been working on slowly reading “The Happiest Baby on the Block” and while I’m holding out on agreeing with everything (some of the authors ideas of how/why we evolved seem lacking in evidence) the parts about recreating the womb make a lot of sense and what we’ve incorporated seems to be working! Loud white noise, for us we chose the sound of rain, (thank you WhiteNoise App!) and firm jiggling seems to be helping work through “the midnight fussies”. I suck at swaddling but the Ergo, with its snug body hold, seems to have a similar effect, and this week we finally figured out nursing in the ergo so we have “Shushing”, “Swinging”, “Swaddling” and “Sucking” down.

-Today has been a day of bodily eruptions. This morning, while changing a wet diaper Seedling projectile-pooped EVERYWHERE. Several prefolds, wipes, and the changing cover we’re taken down in the assault. This afternoon I took Glen to the local dog park so he could run off some of his excess energy and I could walk and get some exercise. When we got home our other dog Emma had vomited, urinated and diarrhead all over her kennel, blankets and herself. The blankets (technically old towels) went into the trash and I cleaned up the kennel and dog as best I could. This evening I woke up from a nap with Seedlinf to discover one of the cats had vomited all over the bathroom. *cue heavy sigh as cleaning commences once again*

Needless to say, I’m not feeling bad about consuming pizza and coke tonight. And chocolate. There will be consumption of chocolate!

Zombies! Working! EmOtIoNs!!!

Tonight Hubster and I celebrated that Seedling is 6 weeks old by going on our first date since her birth. In some ways, it was for us as a couple – a chance to reconnect and reestablish “us-the-two-of-us” separate from “us-the-family-unit”. It was about wanting to establish this as a part of our lives and routine, ensuring a strong marriage now and for the future.

But also, it was a test run. My mom watched Seedling. She will be watching Seedling when I work on Fridays. This was a chance for both her and me to see what it would be like for me to be gone, in the limited space of two hours, and only 10 minutes from home. Because next Friday, it will be 8 hours gone and an hour from home.

The movie was good, “Wa.rm Bod.ies”. Lots of good zombie humor, a touch of gore, a dollop of whit and an overall feel good romance. Both Hubster and I were laughing out loud and walked out quoting some choice bits.

But it was hard. I had my phone on vibrate in my pocket. And I spent most of the movie clutching it, so as to not miss any text or call from my mom. (She sent three texts… Saying they were doing fine, a cute picture, and then a recognition of her elite grandma skillz). After we got home and my mom headed out, Hubster and I were on the couch as I attempted to ease my tender boobs and coax a sleepy Seedling to nurse, I ended up breaking down crying. I don’t know how I’m going to do next Friday. I wish I could have a childish tantrum, throw myself on the floor, flail my arms and legs and scream “I don’t wanna go, I don’t wanna, you can’t make me!” But I realize 1-it won’t make the situation any better, 2-it won’t change the outcome, and 3-it would probably give me some interesting bruises and snarl my hair. That’s not a pretty look. 😉

I thought it’d be easier than this. I love my job. I work with amazing people. I crave adult interaction, intellectual conversation, mental stimulation.

But… I look at her face, tears prick my eyes, I get chocked up. How can I possibly leave my little girl?! It’s my job to take care of her. Even though she will be in great hands… They aren’t my hands!

I’m going to snuggle my sleeping girl and have myself a good cry. For you’re viewing pleasure, the picture my mom sent to me this evening:

The Day My Life Changed

I promise a longer, more detailed post very soon, but it’s almost 9pm here and it’s been a very long 2 days! It wasn’t the “dream birth”, but I had the most amazing team supporting me and I have no regrets. Although technically her “due date” was 12/30/12, Seedling was born beautiful and healthy today, 12/29/12 at 2:18pm PST, 8 pounds 2 ounces, 20.5 inches long. It is so amazing, surreal and emotional… Here are two pictures of Seedling as she is snoozing next to me in our hospital room. I cannot express the love I have for this delightful brand new person!