Wow, it’s been a long time since my last post. I guess it’s just felt like “same ol’, same ol'”, and then when I have had something to write, I’ve just been totally wiped out and had no energy to write a post and figured “Eh… I’ll write one tomorrow.” And then, obviously, I never had the time or energy to write a post. So let me sum up:
Working 40 hours a week. I’m not AS EXHAUSTED as when I first started, I find myself handling being on my feet for 10 hours better. I come home and don’t go STRAIGHT to bed. I make dinner, chat with Hubster, watch a little TV… but I’m still trying to get to bed around 9. This girl needs 9 hours of sleep. On my days off I’ve been trying to get a million things done. All things that are fun or important, but it feels like I never get a REAL day “off”. So yesterday I made NO plans, and spend most of the day on the couch, catching up on Once Upon a Time, America’s Next Top Model and Vampire Diaries. Just chilled out, relaxed, recharged.
It. Was. Epic.
Still love my job, but I’ve hit the “You’ve been here 3 weeks now, and we know we didn’t get to do as much training as we wanted, but you’re doing X, X, and X wrong…. so try to work on that, m’kay?” So it’s not quite the euphoria when I first started, but I still love it and can’t imagine a better place to be. I guess the heart of my issues revolve around this: I love my job and am terrified of losing my job. So my knee-jerk reaction is to become super introverted and deer-in-the-headlights. But I know that’s not a good thing, so to counter-act it I keep myself really pepped up, positive, outgoing, confident. But I guess my confidence is coming across as cocky, and since I am new, I don’t really have the skills to back up the cockyness… it’s all about balance I guess. Thankfully my supervisor is really understanding. *bangs head on wall*
Thanksgiving was crazy. We celebrated the day before with my mom. She gets very “Martha Stewart” for the holidays, so everything was made from scratch, she pulled out the fine china, served champagne, put on “Miracle on 34th St”…. Since it was just Hubster, me and her it was very nice and cozy. Amazingly everyone played nice, there was no awkwardness or drama (except for over the fact that my cousin Blithe who had planned to attend with his Husband had to cancel a week or so before due to some issues with his mother… which I understand but was still bummed since I love those two)
Then on Thursday 24th we met up with my dad and stepmother. They go RV camping traditionally. This year it was really especially cold. And windy. And rainy. They had set up tables to cook on outside of the RV, and put up tents over the tables, but they hadn’t tied the tents down so every time the wind came through the tents would move… at one point knocking over the pressure cooker that held the turkey, breaking the lid of the pressure cooker and they had to find the back-up lid… it was like a holiday with the Griswalds or something. Needless to say, we DID end up eating, albeit little late. And had plenty of shenanigans to laugh at over the meal.
Today is Hubster’s birthday. Unfortunately the dinner party I had planned flopped… my mom had to cancel because some stuff came up with her fencing academy and she had to fire a coach. And Jewel is late. Not really sure what happened but I’m sure she’ll tell me when she gets here. I’ve tried to do my best to make the day nice though.
Hubster’s Baptism and my Chrismation has been set for Sunday, December 11th. I’m excited and impatient for the day, we’ve been going to an Orthodox church for over a year and it’s amazing to think about everything that has happened in the last year…
I think that around that date is when Hubster will be able take the HIV test. I am impatient for that as well. On one hand I feel fairly confident that he will pass the test just fine, but I must admit that there is also the tiny voice in my head scared that the news will come back bad. *deep breath* But, assuming that everything comes out fine, we will get back to TTC, “casually”. That means that we will chart my cycles and try to conceive naturally, with the only assistance being the sporadic acupuncture I get. I’m not terribly confident we will get any results, but at least we will be easing back into things. Then, if by February when my insurance kicks in, we haven’t gotten pregnant (and stayed pregnant) we will pursue up to 3 rounds of IUI. If nothing happens with that, then we will have to accept that we have tried everything we can emotionally and financially afford to conceive biological children, and move forward with pursuing adoption.
And on that sobering thought, I guess I should get back to spending time with Hubster, and Jewel is here now. Yay for chilling on the couch with people I love ❤