Well, in the last couple of days I:
Lost my job
Am still pregnant.
Yup. Go ahead and take in that information for a second.
Friday I got called into work. I normally have Fridays off and work Saturdays but they needed help on Friday and Saturday was going to be really slow, so they said come in Friday and have Saturday off. I thought that was actually pretty cool because Jewel was having a party for her boyfriend’s birthday Friday evening and that meant I could actually go and not worry about staying up late with work on Saturday. So I went into work, and everything went pretty routine. My boss really appreciated me coming in, I told her it was no problem. I did express that I have been having some faulty memory with the pregnancy, and have been doing my level best to write everything everything EVERYTHING down. I knew that on Sunday I was scheduled for a “treatment day”. That means the clinic is closed, but if there are animals boarding that need medicating a technician comes in to give it. Well, sometimes depending on what the medication is (or if any medication is needed at all) the technician that day doesn’t actually have to come in. As I recall, my boss and I had a conversation that since I didn’t work Saturday, I would call Saturday evening to see if I would need to come in Sunday. Because on Friday it is hard to predict what may or may not come in on Saturday. I knew there was an extremely dangerous dog in boarding that needed medicating, but it was well known that no one could actually handle him, his meds were thrown into his run in pill pockets for the dog to eat on his own. So Saturday evening comes around and I call into work. Now my boss (technically the clinic administrator) was not in, but I spoke with the head treatment technician, who consulted with the head doctor (and owner of the clinic) and they decided that I did not need to come in. They said that the two animals that needed medicating could just be handed pill pockets by the kennel technicians. So I did not go in on Sunday. Sunday I come out of church to find multiple phone calls and a voice message from the kennel technician at work, wondering where I was. I immediately called her back (only got her voice mail) and explained I had been told not to come in by the the doctor and the treatment technician but that I was more than willing to come in to work. I called and left a similar message for my supervisor, who the kennel technician and stated was “very miffed” I hadn’t shown up. Eventually I got a call back from my supervisor wherein she insisted that she had told me specifically to come in on Sunday and basically accused me of going behind her back and shirking my responsibilities by calling into the clinic on Saturday. I tried to interject that was not my intention, nor my memory of our conversation, but that only made her more irate, so I settled on just apologizing and agreeing to discuss the matter further the next day that I worked which was Monday. I got off the phone and burst into hysterics, feeling like I’m going crazy. Why do I remember the conversation from Friday so differently?? How am I going to do this job if my memory is going to be so faulty?? Hubster was so great and supportive, we went out and bought more notepads to keep in my pockets and encouraged me to not be too worried for the talk with my supervisor. She had on more than one occasion told me I was one of her favorite vet techs, that I didn’t need to be worried my job was always at stake. So I drove into work bright and early Monday morning basically prepared for a tongue lashing, and go about the day.
I knew I was in trouble when she didn’t have me clock in before out meeting. She basically would not let me speak a word, reiterated that there was absolutely no place for a misunderstanding that she wanted me to work on Sunday, that it did not matter that I had spoken to the treatment technician and the doctor, that the kennel technician was terrified of the dog (Hello! I’m terrified of that dog! Don’t touch it, idiot!) and that the kennel technician had messed up giving the medications (Not sure how that’s my fault that she didn’t read the directions on the drug bottle correctly) and then went on about how she had always stood up for me when the doctors and other techs had been upset with me (Um… ya, like 5 months ago when I started and my attempt at confidence had come off as arrogance but since then I’ve only heard how much everyone loves to work with me) but that she couldn’t stick up for me anymore, that she wouldn’t put up with this kind of behavior by anyone and that she was letting me go.
But, you know, she still likes me as a person, and knows I try really hard.
She took my keys and I left.
I was just so in shock, it took quite a while before I could actually cry. I can’t believe she would take what happened so personally. It wasn’t an attack on her or an attempt to shirk my duties. Admittedly driving 45 minutes, and paying a toll, for 15 minutes worth of work sucks, but if I had been told to come in, I would have come in. I just don’t remember the conversation on Friday the way she remembered it, and she took it very personally. I also have to wonder if some of this wasn’t also a bit of a power struggle between her as the Administrator and the Doctor/Owner. They have had some pretty big arguments before, about which of the two us technicians is supposed to listen to when they give us conflicting directions.
At that point I decided to call the nurse. My breasts had continued to not be tender at all, (and in the midst of “letting me go” the administrator told me that there was a way to continue my insurance for a while, so I figured I’m still insured so I’m going to use it while I can, until I can figure something else out) and basically I begged for another blood level test. I gave myself Monday to just process what happened with the job. My good friend Suzy invited me to run errands with her, and just be a general good distraction. Hubster was really supportive (although leaning towards villain-izing the administrator. I think that there was error on both sides. I don’t know, I guess I don’t feel right just putting all of my anger on her.)
Tuesday I got up and decided to go walking with Suzy and some of her friends. I figured the best way to start my day was by being active, instead of moping around the house. I called in to find out my blood results. Based on the 1,300 number from Wednesday April 25th, I had guessed the number from Monday would be about 7,800. It was over 9,000!!! I have to say, it really made my day. Between that and the previous posts comments including the fact that the tenderness could go away, I was actually feeling really good. Then the nurse went above and beyond and put in an order for an ultrasound in the next 2 weeks, just to give me peace of mind. If she amazing, or what?
However, this morning I went into the bathroom and when I wiped, I noticed a small amount of brown discharge. Of course I started panicking and called the nurse line. She didn’t seem overly concerned (“Brown is old blood, so it’s something from a while ago, it’s probably just now working it’s way out.”) but again took pity on me and changed the ultrasound order to STAT. So Hubster and I got in the car and went in for another ultrasound. It was all very efficient. The ultrasound technician was basically like “You’re last ultrasound was one week ago, so there isn’t much difference to see. The gestational sack has grown and we can see the beginning of the egg sack.” Nothing looked worrisome.
So now I’m home. Did some dishes. Made a call to go in and get information on WIC. Started the process of filing for unemployment. (What a pain!) I’ve been thinking a lot about what kind of job I want to look for. In a lot of ways, I’m actually not as upset as I thought I would be about losing my job. As much as I loved the people, and loved the work, it is a high stress environment. And I’m already at high stress about this pregnancy. Add on my memory issues, and I was so terrified that at some point I would forget something vital. I just don’t know that I really want to pursue another job at a vet clinic at this time. I just don’t think I can handle the stress of trying to remember everything you have to remember for that job. (Which trust me, is a lot. Especially in a “general practitioner” where you see multiple species, and can see everything from healthy kittens to dogs with skin problems to rabbit neuters…) It’s not that I wont look at vet clinic job listings, but will maybe try to find a smaller, less busy clinic. Or a specialty clinic that only really deals with one issue. (Like a dermatologist) Or heck, I may very well apply for a job with a large, corporate coffee chain. 😉 Because they take really good care of their employees. And there is just less stuff to worry about. The other issue I have is that I feel morally compromised to go in and apply for a serious, long-term job and withhold the fact that I’m pregnant. I feel less guilty if I’m applying for a job I know is going to be more temporary, that is just to help keep us afloat until the baby comes along. And the sad fact is, that I was not making great money at my old job. Because of a variety of factors (such as the fact that while I went to school, I have yet to get nationally licensed) I was making just a little more than minimum wage. The veterinary field is not something you do because you expect to get rich, you do it because you love it.
And, to end on a positive note, I realized I never posted the original ultrasound from the 25th. So here is my little blobby, 4 and a half weeks old. 🙂