Archive for the ‘symptoms’ Category

Pretending Like I Have Some Control

Well, turns out they must have just been Braxton Hicks. I don’t know if The contractions slowed down enough so I could sleep, or if sleeping caused them to slow down, but I was able to get some sleep and when I woke up the contractions were back to being really mild and much further apart. Although the “bloody show” continued through the night… Which basically is a lot of cervical mucus looking light pink or apricot colored, from capillaries in my cervix bursting as the cervix is softening.

Through the magic of technology (a la Book O’ Faces) I found out Doula P is off to another labor today. So I’m feeling even more motivated to keep Seedling in… At least for a few days… If I can.

I know Doula P has an assistant and back up doulas, but of course our preference is to do this with Doula P, and since labor is unpredictable she has to work in a “first call, first served” and whoever is in labor and calls her first is the one she goes to.

Since these contractions seem to adjust based on activity, I’m putting myself on self-imposed pseudo bed rest. Which sucks. With my brother and his family in town I was looking forward to seeing more of them… They were spending this morning at my moms, but I was worried what driving out there might do to the contractions… And I might have been willing to push it but Hubster is at work and in case I go into labor I don’t want to have to figure out getting back from my moms…

I may try going to a museum with them later this week, in the evening when Hubster can come with. Due to time and distant and cost I haven’t seen them in a year and a half, and I don’t want them to think I just don’t care about seeing them now!

And now, back to my “bed rest” – watching the 4th season of Tr.ue Blo.od on blue ray (yay Christmas!) with all the special features and commentaries!

Wolf?

I don’t want to be “the boy who cried wolf” but – the achy-Braxton things have (over the day) gone from just my lower uterus to wrap around to my lower back. This evening I decides for gits and shiggles to use my “contraction timer app” to see if anything was looking like a pattern. Over the last couple if hours they have averaged about 9 minutes apart and about 30 seconds in length… Although sometimes it varies quite a bit. I just took a shower (attempting to clear my sinuses and lungs) and an going to head to bed. It could still be a few days… But it could be sooner. I don’t want to say “I think I’m in early labor” and be wrong but … I concede that there is the plausibility that I am currently in early labor.

We Interrupt your regularly Scheduled Programming for This Report:

I think I have literally been up to pee every half hour this evening since going to bed, and I am pretty sure I just passed my mucus plug (thank you google images for having something to compare that thumb-tip-sized glob to) no pink or red to it, perfectly clear.

According to more Doctor Google/http://www.americanpregnancy.org/labornbirth/mucusplug.html “Labor could be hours, days, or even weeks away…” But I’m still feeling like this is a big deal. Coupled with the sporadic Braxton Hicks I have been able to feel today (similar to a subtle period cramps, achy in quality) I’m guessing we won’t actually make it to January as I have so very long predicted/hoped.

Oh Seedling, please wait until after Wednesday. Hubster’s back is out (as in, can barely walk, cannot bend over, and would be of very little physical help in labor) and he couldn’t see his Chiropractor until Wednesday… We missed church today because of it and have already decided he will not be joining me at my parents homes tomorrow because he is in just too much pain.

Ok. I need to get some sleep!

So maybe I really do need to slow down…

Well, Seedling decided to give me a teeny tiny scare. I was at work, and noticed suddenly some bright spots in my vision. I’ve had them once or twice before when getting in the shower, and figured maybe I should call my doctor… It didn’t last very long but I figured it was worth checking… Mostly I just wanted to be told that I was fine! But nope, I was advised to go to the hospital.

Well, I don’t work in the same city as my hospital so I had a moment of panic “where IS the closest hospital???” But of course I wasn’t supposed to drive so my very sweet coworker volunteered to drive me. As she is driving I call Hubster to let him know what happened and where we are headed. (Keeping in mind I work about 30-45 minutes from where we live…)

Coworker drops me off at the ER. She offered to walk me in but I pretty much felt fine aside from nerves so I told her I would be ok. So I walk in, check in, they insist I have to take a wheelchair up to the maternity floor… *grumble grumble* I think it’s always hard for people in the medical field to be patients. I’m used to being the one helping, not sitting in a wheelchair while some sweet old guy pushes me! Especially because I feel fine!

Get into the maternity ward, and I get THE COOLEST NURSE EVER. Super cool and laid back, really helped ease the nerves in my tummy. She put the monitor on my belly and took my blood pressure. Pressure was slightly elevated, but nothing serious (especially since most people get it elevated just from the nerves if coming to the hospital) and Seedling had really great heart rate. I had some very mild Braxton Hicks showing, but I couldn’t really feel anything and the nurse couldn’t palate them. Anyway, within an hour it was determined that I was fine. Maybe I stood up too quickly or something like that? If it happens again, have a headache, pain on the right around my liver I’m supposed to come back.

So here I sit in the waiting room, waiting for poor Hubster to come and get me since my car is back at work! It all just feels kind of silly and stupid… But it was really nice to listen to Seedlings heartbeat and know that everything really is ok.

Why do I have a feeling I’m going to be getting lectures from friends and family that I need to “slow down! You’re 8 months pregnant! Stop acting like you can do everything!”? … Lol. Oh right, because Hubster tells me that almost every day…

Can I Call in “Overwhelmed and Pregnant” to Work Tomorrow?

Today was quite the day…. but let me rewind a little bit.

I forgot to mention in my previous posts that I have been on the lookout for impending-labor-symptoms.  Not the stupid-obvious ones that baby websites tell you about, but the subtle ones moms tell you about.  Increased cervical mucus, changes in bowel movements, changes in hunger/thirst/energy.  Things that probably lots of people miss just because they aren’t being aware of themselves.  Sporadically in the last two weeks or so I have been seeing some cervical mucus on the toilet paper.  This has turned into quite the obsession.  It used to be when I got up to pee 50milliontimesanight, I would just go in, in the dark because I hated trying to adjust to glaring lights and then adjusting to pitch black as I stumble back to the bed.  But not anymore.  I turn that light and LOOK at the toilet paper.  Any cervical mucus?  How much?  Consistency?  Any tinges of a bloody show perhaps???

In the beginning of seeing it, I would only see it about once a day, very egg-white in consistency   However Tuesday I found a little glop of it in my underwear (which in all my times of infertility and treatments and TTC I NEVER saw cervical mucus on my underwear -I just didn’t produce that much) and then again I saw some today!  And today, it seems to be changing from egg-white-y to more sticky-“rubber-cement” in consistence, and more than in the last few days.  So… maybe we aren’t *too* far away from progress?

Ok, but back to timeline-style.  Last night I was speaking with my mom when it came up that she had contacted Doula P, both by email and by phone.  Why? Why?! WHY?!?!  To discuss if my mother and/or father could do some kind of “trade” for her services so that Hubster and I wouldn’t have to pull as much money out of savings.  I was literally struck dumb.  I was so caught off guard  WHO DOES THAT?!  Who contacts a person’s business relationships to discuss changing the contract???  And then she goes on about how she wants to contact Hubster’s mother to discuss Hubster’s trust.  WTF?!  I made it pretty dang clear that was NOT ok.  But I was so upset at the time I really didn’t say much of anything.  My mom has done SO MUCH for us, and helped us in a lot of ways, I don’t want her to think we don’t appreciate that.  But I feel so violated and belittled that she would do that!  I couldn’t sleep last night, couldn’t eat breakfast this morning I was so upset.  I contacted my SIL (brother’s wife) to talk about it.  She is really familiar with my mom, and I felt would be a good sounding board in case I was overreacting.  But she encouraged me to write my mom an email (which I have done, just waiting for SIL to get back to me about her thoughts – to make sure I didn’t go overboard) and address this because it is just SO NOT OK.

Then I lost track of time and had to run out the door to make my lactation consultation.  Which went really well, the woman looked at my nipples, discussed some tools to help train my right nipple to be less flat, and showed me how to express my milk (which was totally cool, and also a little gross as the same time.) and said that could also help to train my nipple to be less flat, plus it never hurts to have a little extra Colostrum saved in the freezer!

So home I went, and did dishes, messed around on the laptop, picked up my knitting…. I’m starting to think that my knitting projects just will not be done in time for Christmas.  Thankfully I have some other homemade gifts, but it feels so… inadequate to do just the small things.  But I found a lot of relief in the idea that these could become Birthday presents for later in the year – not that it is an excuse to put it off, but I am just being realistic that Christmas is TUESDAY, and I work tomorrow, Sunday is church… I just really will not have any time to get them done before Christmas.

I also sent an email out to Doula P apologizing for the craziness that is my mother, and asked that if my mom said or did anything to offend her that I am SO VERY SORRY.  I am just so beyond humiliated.  I haven’t heard back from her yet…

(On a side note – I was so distracted and upset by my mom’s violation of trust that I completely forgot to feed the dogs and cats their breakfast until 3pm!)

Oh, and the girl a friend had “highly” recommended I contact about being our nanny? I had called and spoke with her yesterday… first impression on the phone I was not impressed… she called back today and left a message saying she isn’t interested/available/whatever.  Which on one hand is fine. But I spent quite a bit of time researching day cares in my area that would be open extended hours to accommodate my job… 3 out of 4 had a lot of red flags, and the 4th has not returned my contact inquiry.  Feeling a little lot anxious about having any kind of option of returning to work…

Then out again for the updated ultrasound.  Looks like all of Dr.B’s concerns about a “big baby” were unfounded.  She is measuring at 7lbs 4oz.  Yay!  The technician was like “I don’t know what he was talking about.  No 12 pound babies in there!  You’d have to be pregnant for a LOT longer to reach that.”  Seemed like everything was perfectly normal.  Unfortunately I didn’t get any new pictures – the baby is so big on the monitor that it would be like a close up of someone’s face – too difficult to really distinguish what anything was.  And in the time it took for her to do her (very quick!) ultrasound, I felt myself getting hot and then my hearing got dimmed… So having all of Seedling’s 7+pounds on my vena cava was making me faint.  Thank goodness the tech was so fast!  I brought my knees up and rolled over and sipped some water and am now perfectly fine but that was NOT fun.

Got home and had a brief chat with SIL, because she had been talking with my mom a little while ago… turns out my mother CALLED THE HOSPITAL.  I seriously could pull my hair out.  What the hell?!  I am not some 6 year old child who needs someone to hold me hand and double check that I’m doing all my research and homework.  So I’m feeling impatient for SIL to get back to me about the email so I can send that out.

This crap is just not going to fly.

I am so ready for this day to be over.

EMOTIONS

In case you couldn’t tell by the title… I will be referencing one of SRB’s phrases due to there being no better way to explain myself.

I’ve had the worlds easiest, most textbook pregnancy. But I’m at the place where it takes forever to get comfortable, and by the time I finally get comfortable in bed, I then have to pee. So needless to say I got crap for sleep here lately. Then you add in bring 8 months pregnant makes you tired anyway. And working. And trying to prep for the holidays. And trying to get all those last-minute-things done before the baby arrives. And I’ve been crying. It’s not even like I’m really sad or anything! I’m just…. EMOTIONS! Call it hormones if you like. I cried when I went to bed last night. Cried on my way into work. My boss was like “oh my gosh are you ok?!?” Seeing me walk in all sniffly, with tears still coming down… And I hate that there is no clear answer. Yes, I’m fine. Great, wonderful, exuberant to be pregnant and very soon meet Seedling. But also very tired, exhausted, overwhelmed, hormonal, … EMOTIONAL.

I’m probably going to cry later when I get off work as well. It helps to cry. It feels good to have an outlet for all the swirling stuff inside of me.

But crying is also tiring… So you see the spiral I’m in?
*sigh*

Posterity

While I have had a ridiculously easy pregnancy, and I am so thrilled and thankful to be pregnant, the last week has alerted me to a few less-then-pleasant parts if pregnancy. I don’t want to come across as “the ungrateful infertile” but really just wanted to describe what is happening for posterity’s sake.

Before I was pregnant, and would hear women describe difficulty putting shoes on and rolling over in bed, I thought it couldn’t be much different from being fat. Struggling with weight my entire life I once topped the scale at 250lbs. However, fat is squishy, so if I needed to press my stomach into the counter so I could reach something, it was irritating but really not a big deal. Babies? Not squishy. And if I do press my stomach against the counter to reach something, she will kick in protest, and then I feel terribly guilty for squishing her! Similarly, when not pregnant but overweight, putting on shoes and rolling over in bed may have been uncomfortable, now there is a decided moment of “if I try to do this, it may hurt”. There is a definite moment when I go to roll over in bed (I can’t do it as one fluid motion, I have to start rolling my hips and then follow with my shoulders. Doing it all at once requires much more effort) that if I start the roll with my hips but don’t follow soon enough with my shoulders, I get an ouchy pinching sensation in my abdomen and back.

The exhaustion has set in.  I wake up tired.  Doesn’t seem to matter how long I sleep.  I could sleep all night and then cat nap all day… hm, that would be glorious.  Obviously, I don’t do that.  I get up, walk the dogs, take a shower , go to work, go to visit friends… but I told Hubster last night that I think that my days off, I’m going to start putting my foot down and making them “do nothing” days. Because as much fun as it is to visit, even “low key” hang-out type visits are really draining   (Remember when I said I wake up tired???)  I’m wishing I had approached my boss sooner about going down to part time, but I know I will survive November, and am very much looking forward to slowing down in December.

My sense of smell seems to have ramped up again.  Which working at a vet clinic? Tons of fun.  The worst is the clients that come in and smell of stale cigarette smoke… I don’t judge them for smoking, but it has made me pretty dang nauseous.  And believe me, there is a difference between just-stepped-out-for-a-quick-smoke-break and I-chain-smoke-all-day-and-never-wash-my-clothes.

Oh the heartburn.  See, I’ve never really been someone who gets heartburn.  It took me about a day to figure out that the pressure in my chest even was heartburn.  It feels like I swallowed a super-large-vitamin and it got stuck in my throat, right around my clavicle.  So I ended up going out and buying two large bottles of Tums.  (side note – saw Midwife N yesterday which went MUCH better, I went in and let her know all these things I’m suddenly dealing with, which are of course all normal, but it made for a slightly longer appointment and made me feel a teensy more connected.  Guess I just have to be more pro-active on the talking front.  Anyway, she said I could also try Prilosec or Zantac so once I get through this work week I may grab one to try)

Finally, I am always hungry.  Even when I eat a normal sized meal, and I’m uncomfortably full, it isn’t long before I’m hungry again.  Trying to watch my food intake to make sure I don’t balloon up in this last stretch is going to be hard.  Stupid brain telling me to eat when I really shouldn’t!

And yes, I really did discuss all these things with Midwife N.  By and large she said it was all completely normal.  She did have some concern over the super-hungry thing, because of course I started this pregnancy heavier, and we’ve been trying to really watch the weight gain.  So it’s more important than ever to be really paying attention to my portions and making sure I’m eating healthy.   (Sorry trick-or-treaters, I’m not even going to tempt myself, we wont be buying or hanging out candy this year!)  We also talked a little about the school of thought to do perineal massage, and she basically said it was a waste of time to try and do it now, and may only make the muscle tougher.  It is most effective when I am in labor, and she said she would do her best to make sure I don’t tear.

Blood pressure, heartbeat all good.  Baby was head down, and Midwife N thinks is should stay that way.  I guess all the movement/fluttering I feel down low must be her hands!  And with her growing, her movements are becoming more obvious to me (And when visiting with Suzy yesterday she even go to feel a little foot wiggling!) which is very reassuring.

So there ya have it.  Not all sunshine and roses, but it really is not nearly as bad as it could be, I know I’m very lucky to be pregnant, and to have such an easy pregnancy.  I just wish I could somehow grant that to all my readers!!!