Archive for the ‘Trying to Right my Wrongs’ Category

High and Low

The good news: I got a call today (completely unexpectedly) requesting I go in for a job interview for a receptionist position at a vet clinic.  Apparently I applied to one of their “sister clinics”, and it sounds like they need someone ASAP.  Excited and nervous!  I only have one “professional” outfit that fits, and it’s not really “maternity”… so I’ll probably just look overweight, but at least I wont look like a slob.  Will let you all know how it goes!

The bad news: I got an email this morning from WordPress that apparently a post I wrote over a year ago violated someone’s copy-write … and I feel really bad, because I wouldn’t do something like that intentionally!  But the irritating thing is that WP already took the post down, I can’t go on and see what I did wrong, or just remove the one picture that is the problem.  So words that I wrote are just lost.  I made a mistake, but I can’t even fix it!  I’m feeling really emotional and sad about losing stuff that I wrote, that was important to me…

Well, after a very big, emotional day of highs and lows, I’m gonna go to bed so I can try and be sharp for tomorrow morning’s interview!  A few other exciting notes from the last few days:

Baby is kicking more, usually right after eating, or when I lay down in bed.  Last night she was kicking enough I could feel it faintly from the outside.  I yelled for Hubster, but he was walking the dogs, so by the time he got to be, she had stopped kicking.  I felt disappointed but he was a good sport, and said “I’m sure there will be chances to feel her kick in the future.”  Awwww, what a good hubby.  Last night he was especially awesome because I had a really sh*tty evening at work, so I called him on my way home and basically said “I’m in a bad mood and will need space when I get home because I don’t want to yell at you when you’ve done nothing wrong, but I’m super cranky” and by and large he gave me my space (except when he interrupted my attempt-to-relax-shower, trying to be a “shoulder to cry on” but I reigned in my temper). I just really appreciate that he didn’t get defensive or offended like some people might.

Ok, really, gonna go to bed now.  HAVE A GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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These storm clouds don’t have a silver lining.

Yesterday, I inadvertently hurt two very wonderful people in my life.

One was a fellow blogger.  The other was my dear aunt.  The incidents were completely unrelated, but it was a heartbreaking way to begin the day.  I have sent private apologies to both of these two women, and done everything I can to make amends.

My post, that I wrote in a highly-emotionally-charged state, has been removed.  While my intentions were to encourage support for another blogger, my writing did not portray what I meant it to.

I overlooked the fact that I betrayed her trust and I seriously crossed a line.

My aunt had initiated a conversation about my pregnancy.  My attempts at explaining to my aunt some of our pregnancy/parenting plans was taken as a personal attack.  It was absolutely not meant to come across that way.

I have been literally sick to my stomach, nauseous all day as I have run the conversations over and over in my head, trying to decide on the best courses of action.  I am not a perfect person, I take full responsibility for my gross oversights. For my full-on FUCK-UPS.

My previous post had very few views, and by removing the post it will never be seen again.  I wish with all my might that I had never published it.

I wish I had not alienated my aunt.

I wish there was something more that I could do.