Well, it’s been a couple weeks since we moved into my moms, and I know that there are some of you out there wanting an update.
Per living with my mom:
In so many ways, having my mom around has been helpful. Since she is usually here in the mornings, Seedling looks for her first thing after we leave our room. The evenings when Seedling struggles to settle down and fall asleep? (Which usually take place after rough days that I’m totally exhausted by, physically and emotionally) My mom will take a turn at going in and trying to rock Seedling into sleepy-land. However, all the well-meaning, well-intended advise and questions is totally eroding my fragile confidence. Everyone says “Follow your gut, listen to your instincts, do what feels natural, stand up for yourself and your child, you know your child best!” But it is definitely hard when there is such a frequent line of “don’t you think you should ____?” Or “do you want me to do ___?” Or “why don’t you do ___?”. I know she means well but all this second guessing and having to explain or justify my choices is really, really hard. And since is is my mom, who I love and trust and respect, it makes it even harder to ignore or disregard. Her comments and questions follow me, coming up again and again in my head, little ghosts of doubt.
Per living in this space:
However, in general things are not as bad as I had worried they might be. In fact it’s really not that bad living with my mom, she’s barely ever home, the hardest part is the actual building that we are in and how small it is. While having Seedling’s crib in our room isn’t as difficult as I had originally thought it might be, it is posing a greater difficulty then when she had her own nursery. She isn’t sleeping as well as she used to. When she wakes in the night she doesn’t settle herself back to sleep quickly. Instead she wakes screaming and since her crib is right next to my side of the bed, it’s a very startling way to be woken several times a night. I leap (or blearily stumble) out of bed, pick her up and take her to the rocking chair to nurse. This nursing feels like it goes on for hours as I am exhausted from the constantly broken sleep. The other major difficulty is the tiny standup shower. Besides both Hubster and I frequently bumping our heads against the sides (Hubster admitted that one time he smacked it so hard he saw stars) and knocking off shampoo bottles from the microscopic shelves, it has made it so that my daughter, who used to absolutely adore showers, now screams bloody murder. I think this is because in the standup shower she cannot get away from the spray of the water and she finds this incredibly upsetting, and she has transferred that over even to her bath time! I had hoped the huge, jetted tub she would at least enjoy, but you’d think the water was molten lava by her reaction! The best solution I’ve found so far is to get in the bath tub with her. And while it is quite the luxurious bath tub, there are many times when I need to just clean her off quickly and not take the time to immerse myself.
Per the positives:
There are many positives, to be sure. The condo is clean and quiet, the neighbors are generally polite and friendly. There are a few kids around Seedling’s age so it had been wonderful to watch her get to play and socialize. As much as I begrudge having to walk the dogs (mostly because it is a lot of rigmarole to get shoes on, leashes on, poop bags, stroller out and ready to go etc) the truth is once I get out and going I find myself enjoying the fresh air. And as I recently joined an 8-week weight loss challenge with a mom friend, I use the walks to get in some cardio. I put on some dancing music on pandora and that helps keep a brisk pace 🙂
Now off to bed for me. Gotta get my sleep in while I can!