Pascha and Mother’s Day in Review

Doing this bullet-point style folks because I am in desperate need of a shower and sleep!

-Last Sunday, May 5th, was Pascha.  I meant to write about it, leading up to and on the day of, but life got busy.  The entire week leading up to Pascha is full of services, multiple services a day. Between a baby recovering from being sick, and then car trouble, needless to say I didn’t make all the services, but those I could attend were lovely.  Pascha is the celebration of Christ’s resurrection, his saving work on the cross.  The Western churches call it Easter.  If you’d like a succinct summary of Holy Week and why we call it Pascha you can check it out here.  The Pascha service starts at midnight of Saturday and goes until about 4am on Sunday morning.  Most people hear 4am and think I’m insane.  But when something amazing and beautiful and profound is happening, you don’t realize it’s 4am.  If it was boring or empty, trust me, people wouldn’t go.  Instead, it is the most packed our church ever gets.  The service starts hushed, all lights out, and as the service progresses the priests bring out candles and the light spreads from person to person, then there is a processional out and around the church three times, re-entering into bright and beautiful joy!  Sadly, I think I was dehydrated and about 2am I started feeling really nauseous and with Hubster’s urging I went home.  Seedling was a total trooper, mostly just sleeping in her Ergo up against mommy.

-Pascha afternoon there was a short prayer service, followed by egg hunt and huge potluck.  (Remember, Orthodox have been fasting from meat, oil, wine and dairy all lent so now it’s time for all those amazing foods!) It was really lovely, the weather was perfect, and my dad and stepmom joined us for the potluck. 🙂

-Milestones this week: We had taken a hiatus from tummy time as Seedling hated it and really wouldn’t even try to do anything.  But her 4 month visit to the pediatrician brought up the “Is she rolling over?” question.  *sigh* Oops! So back to tummy time.  She doesn’t seem to mind it as much as she used to.  But back to miles stones.  The first day back from the hiatus she squirmed her way backwards util she reached the end of the pack’n’play.  It was like a very slow, reverse army crawl.  The next day?  She rolled over!  Of course, I missed it.  I had put her down, turned to take care of something, came back and said to Hubster “Did she roll over” He looked in and said “No, she’s on her back.” to which I replied “I put her in on her tummy”  “Oh, well, then yes, she rolled over!” I put her back on her tummy and immediately she rolled back over as if to say “Moooom! I don’t wanna be on my tummy!  Sheesh!”

-However, the last few times I’ve put her down she has not rolled over.  It’s like she forgot how.  Poor thing.

-Mother’s Day.  It was surreal.  People kept coming up and wishing me a Happy Mother’s Day.  A part of me kept wanting to look behind me, assuming they must be talking to someone else.  But nope, it was me.

See, since my first pregnancy… and subsequent loss in 2010 (2010?! Really that long ago?) I’ve felt I was a mom, I just didn’t have my baby in my arms.  Mother’s Day would come and my heart would hurt as everyone forgot about my baby.  They forgot I was a mother.  So, in some ways, I had gotten used to getting overlooked on this holiday.

All week long, in fact, people would wish me a Happy Mother’s Day.  The cashier at the store, the receptionist at the pediatrician.  All these people could clearly see a baby in my arms, spit up on my shoulders, my unwashed hair pulled back in a messy ponytail.  I was clearly a mom.

-After church we went to my mom’s.  Suffice it to say that everyone in the Tulip household kind of woke up cranky so it took a bit of extra effort to go and do the smiling daughter thing.  I had made photo books for both my and Hubster’s mom, but they haven’t come in yet.  So I stopped and got flowers so I had something to give my mom.

-Low point of the day: Hubster had nothing for me.  Not even a stinking card!  All day I kept thinking “well, maybe he will surprise me later”, but nope, nothing.  When we left my moms and I realized nothing was coming I totally broke down crying in the car.  I know he’s gone 17 hours a day and we don’t have a lot of money, but it was the complete lack of effort or thought on a holiday that meant a lot to me.  We had a good talk, he felt terrible.  He knows I kind of hate flowers, (I never know how long I’m supposed to keep them, if I throw them away too early is that an insult to who gave them to me? So then I end up with an ugly mess of dead flowers on my table.) and he kind of hates cards for the same reason of never knowing when is the socially acceptable amount of time to keep before tossing.  And he didn’t want to get me something I’d just throw away. (Although I think I would have kept me first ever Mother’s Day Card!)  But I digress.  Upon returning home he tried to make it up by vacuuming  running a few small errands and doing the dishes.  

-On the way to and from my mom’s, my car died.  Several times.  We’ve had it in the mechanic several times in the last few months… facing the possibility that it may very well be time to replace it.  But we’re not sure what that will look like with money so tight these days.  I’m voting for leasing a new car so I know it is reliable.  Hubster’s not totally on board.  But we still have to see what the mechanic has to say, and what the repair cost(s) will actually look like.  I’m just fed up with the machine.

-Today was a weird day.  The weather was cloudy and cold, to hot and sunny, to fridgid nad windy several times.  I dropped off our application to rent a comparably sized apartment to what we are in now but has a yard, luckily this place is literally right across the street so I could just walk there since my car is less than usable at the moment.  Other than that, I took care of Seedling but really had minimal energy for chores.  There was an abundance of watching tv via Netflix when I wasn’t actively interacting with Seedling.  I usually keep it to a minimum, only when Seedling is in her room napping, but today I was indulging as long as she was contentedly playing in her pack’n’play or something.  Kind of made me feel like a loser mom.  I don’t know if it was the let down of a Mother’s Day, or the weird weather, or something else, or some combination, but all I wanted to do was kind of lay low.  If I could have gotten away with it, today would have been a stay-in-bed-all-day kind of day, but now that I’m a mom that’s not an option.

-Here’s hoping tomorrow is a better day.  I’m off to shower, evening prayers, and then some bed!

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One response to this post.

  1. The church service sounds very nice! I’m glad the baby was good for you. I had a similar mother’s day with my hubby. Granted, he spent the entire weekend putting in our drip system for watering the garden… but I just wanted something for me, anything small… and if flowers and cards are a problem, chocolate always works! Even just a stupid candybar would make me smile at the effort. 🙂 Sorry about the car problems. sheesh! Cars are so expensive! Good luck with that!

    Reply

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