Infertility Awareness

It’s infertility awareness week. I knew it was coming. And planned a nice, long, informational post. In my head. But Seedling is sick (just runny nose/cough/low grade fever) and so her sleeping and eating is all wonky. And now I’m getting sick (so proud of my girl for wanting to share! 😛 ) so this will be brief.

Yes, we miraculously and unexpectedly got pregnant. But we still had 2 and a half years of trying, tests, interventions and a baby lost. I have no idea what our future holds for more kids. I know I want them. God willing.

I don’t hide our history. But I also try to not bring it up at times it doesn’t fit. If the topic comes up, I tell the truth. I don’t have feelings of shame or embarrassment. I having sad feelings. Feelings of loss and feeling lost. Feelings of camaraderie from the lifeline this online community has been.

My infertility journey has changed me. My faith, my marriage, my life. There were some intensely dark times… Giving in to the dark times is easy. Looking for a few rats of sunshine, a silver lining, some semblance of hope – it’s hard. I’m so thankful for the therapists, the support of special family and friends.

Infertility is a part of me, of my past. And it may be ahead of me in my future. But I know it isn’t my entirety. And on that note, I’m going to snuggle my daughter. She may be sick and cranky, but she’s my daughter, a little person I spent countless hours praying, hoping, wishing for. Who I love immensely.


One response to this post.

  1. Such a sweet post. I think you hit on something here. It might not be out of shame that I don’t talk more openly about our struggles but because it makes me overwhelmed, sad and lost. Hopefully, if we are succesful, I find it a little bit easier. Hope she feels better soon.


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