Three Weeks Old! And a Visit from the In-Laws.

I’m working on writing a catch-up post from the birth on… But as it has now been three weeks since Seedling’s birth there is a lot to cover! So while I work on that, I’m going to have to start writing in current events as well.

I can’t believe it has been three weeks. It feels like it was so much longer than that, but mostly because my memories have gone so fuzzy, they feel like long-ago-type memories. But also there is a sense of I-can’t-imagine-life-without-Seedling, as if she should have always been in our lives.

A week after get birth Jewel and her boyfriend came by for a visit and she asked me “do you feel like a mom yet”… And I said I thought it felt very real when I first nursed Seedling a few hours after her birth. But the truth is, when I became pregnant two yeas ago, I felt like a mom. When we lost that baby I often expressed feeling like a mom, who just didn’t have their child. And so in some ways it feels like our life – with the baby paraphernalia, sleepless nights, cooing cuddling child – should have been this way for the last two years. There is no doubt in my mind that I am a mom. And I adore it.

Not to say there hasn’t been done tough days and tougher nights… There are countless studies on the importance of sleep and how we can literally go insane with lack of it. But by and large I hold myself together, and make sure Seedling has all her needs met. Everyone I know bemoans the newborn stage, saying it is horrible and awful… But I must say that I’m loving it. I live the snuggles and cuddles. I love how small and easily held she is. And my deepest fear is that she will be out if it before I have had my full enjoyment if it.

But on to current events.

Hubster’s parents visited this weekend. I was very nervous, as I have such a rocky history with my father in law. But the weekend went fairly well. They weren’t as helpful as I had hoped (nobody inquired about helping us with vacuuming or cleaning or walking our dogs…) but they were not as imposing as I had feared. (There was only remark about how we have been as parents- saying we just need to keep Seedling awake during the day and then she would sleep at night. *sigh*). My MIL did make a delicious lasagna dinner last night, and then this evening they took us out to dinner. And it’s always appreciated not to worry about where my next meal will come from!

Mostly it just stressed me out to feel like they obviously came to visit Seedling but since she spends most of her time asleep (usually in her crib, not to be disturbed) or eating (I felt incredibly uncomfortable at the thought of nursing in front of my FIL, even with a cover so this again took place alone in the nursery) the truth is they saw very little of Seedling.

I had planned not to really leave the apartment other than necessary doctor-type visits (with a flue epidemic in Washington and babies being lost to Whooping Cough at a local hospital) but felt guilted into being sociable and taking Seedling out to a local car museum Hubster wanted to show his parents. (Although Seedling became hungry shortly after arriving and I spent a half hour in the bathroom nursing while standing due to there being no good place to sit) I think my real frustration lies in the fact that my FIL gives a strong impression of disapproval on anything he disagrees with. As an atheist, when he is with us, suddenly Hubster and I don’t say grace over our meals. He mocked the idea of having a car seat professionally installed, saying he would feel pretty stupid if he needed help installing a car seat. So trying to explain that we are doing things differently (like mom and baby not leaving the house for 40 days for religious and health reasons) is a waste of breath. And it leaves me feeling like I don’t really have a choice but to be quite and play nice. It makes me feel awkward and out of place. I know it sounds stupid and pathetic and I should just stand up for myself but all I can say is – family is complicated.

Especially in-laws.

And they were only here for the weekend.

My life can go back to normal on Tuesday.

But I don’t want to sound ungrateful. I am glad they came out (a two day drive), that they got to see Seedling, that Hubster got to see his dad (it has been a very long time since the two have seen one another), grateful that they gifted us with many clothes and our stroller. My MIL balanced my FIL by being a very cheerful, conversational person and I’ve greatly enjoyed my time with her.

Now here’s to hoping I get some sleep! Poor Seedling has not been sleeping well at night the last few days, and due to our company I have not been able to sleep with her day-naps, so I am I’ve pooped Tulip!

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7 responses to this post.

  1. What a weekend!! I’m glad everything can go back to normal tomorrow.

    I nominated you for the Liebster Award over at Donating Hope!

    Reply

    • Thank you for the award! I tried to comment on your blog but my iPhone decided it didn’t want to cooperate. I can’t wait to write my aard post – when I can sit down with my laptop!

      Reply

  2. Ugh. That sounds like more of a headache than a pleasantry if you ask me. I understand about family being complicated and difficult… but I do wish I were up there to knock some sense into the man. If I did it for you, then it wouldn’t affect your relationship with him. 🙂 I’m a bit, um, pushy? aggressive? bitchy? hormonal? I don’t know. I just know that very often I wish that I could even have the ability to sit nicely and politely pretend I’m happy about something… but seriously I can’t even do it when I really try… so I do see it as a good thing about you as a person that you’re able to put up with that crap, but I still hate that you have to. Hoping you can catch some sleep…

    Reply

    • If I was writing a comment on someone else’s blog I would probably say many if the same things lol. In perfect honesty it want THAT bad, I think I’m partially disappointed with myself… That I don’t handle difficulties with my FIL better. But the facts are that things between my FIL were greatly improved during the visit in that he actually spoke and looked at me, and acknowledging my existence is a pretty big step forward so I shouldn’t complain but celebrate the accomplishment.

      Reply

  3. I’m happy for you that life goes back to normal tomorrow. In-laws can be tough to deal with, but I’m sure your husband enjoyed having them around, and it’s nice that they came all that way. Hopefully it won’t take you guys long to get back into your regular routine.

    Reply

  4. So sorry about your FIL. It’s a very interesting dynamic and to think that we always assume the MILs are the problems. All I can say is, unless you are in a situation, you never know how you will handle it and if there is one thing I have learnt from being married for 7years is that when dealing with in-laws it is usually just easier to smile and wave and suck it all up (as tough as it may seem) as it is only just a passing thing. In a few hours, your life will be back to normal again. Though I might have exploded at one point and then blame it on being hormonal and lack of sleep 😉 😉 😉

    Dealing with cultural and religious differences is haaaaard!!!!!

    But other than that, glad to hear you are enjoying motherhood and Seedling is growing well and your hubby got to see his dad.

    Reply

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