A Better Day

I feel much better today.

Yesterday was a bad day. What can I say? I spent the morning fighting with out toilet, cleaning the bathroom, fruitless job hunting, and then a rather trying shift at work. Not in my best state of mind. Hubster got home and I cried all over him. The poor guy. He handles these mood swings like a champ (by the end of the sob fest I was laughing about Jeff Foxw.orthy stand-up…)

I got a pretty good night’s sleep, woke up and had a very low key morning. Then I went to have lunch with a friend. We both started at the vet clinic at the same time, and even after I left we have kept in touch. But now she is moving to New Mexico! I’m really going to miss her, even though we are both busy that we haven’t gotten to hang out in person much, when we do hang out we chat forever. (I think our waiter was a bit grumpy that we sat at his table for SO LONG in the middle of lunch, but I think we were both enjoying each other company, and also aware that this was the last time we would see each other for a very long time… So we were drawing it out.) Even though she is child free by choice, has never really wanted kids, she is SUPER excited for me. It was really just a wonderful afternoon.

Then I came home and watched a little Sup.ernatural a la Ne.tflix (still working on catching up the current season!) and then put on my big girl panties and started wading through jobs. Still nada in the vet field for me, but with my fancy new care(dot)com account I did find two jobs that could be really potentially perfect.  Trying to find something with younger kids/babies so that when I start bringing my baby to work with me, it won’t be a difficult to handle a napping infant with whatever the current kids schedules are.  One of the jobs is a single child, just born a month and a half ago!  The other family has a 3 year old and an 8 month old – and they do cloth diaper and holistic eating and live on a small farm!  Either way, both jobs sound like they could be really awesome, so here’s hoping!

Needless to say, definitely feeling more levity.  But what really helped was waking up and seeing this on my facebook feed:

“Our life depends on the kind of thoughts we nurture. If our thoughts are peaceful, calm, meek, and kind, then that is what our life is like. If our attention is turned to the circumstances in which we live, we are drawn into a whirlpool of thoughts and can have neither peace nor tranquility.”
― Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica

I don’t pretend to have my life figured out, and sometimes this blog is a great place to chronicle my journey (both in pregnancy, but also in life and my faith) but I hope that even when I express the imperfect bits, that someone will come along and give me the gentle encouragement (or smack upside the head!) that I need to get back on track.

Early in this pregnancy, when we were especially unsure if this would continue, Hubster and I talked about “What if we lose it?” and while we had some really great friends out in Colorado, we can’t deny that we just have a larger support network out here. We are so immensely lucky to have it. So what would we do?  Call our priest.  Take time to go back to that monastery I went to on the Women’s Retreat before we conceived, to focus on prayer and working through the grief with God as my focus. I would probably stay there for several days, depending on the Abbess’s discretion.  We would reach out to childhood friends, and my parents.  And we would survive it.  This baby is more important than some little job.  So if we could imagine surviving the “worst possible scenario”, we can survive this time of unknown job-ness.

Today’s Epistle also seems to resonate, don’t you think?

St. Paul’s Second Letter to the Corinthians 4:13-18 (italics mine)
BRETHREN, having the same spirit of faith as he who wrote, “I believed, and so I spoke,” we too believe, and so we speak, knowing that he who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus and bring us with you into his presence. For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God.
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer nature is wasting away, out inner nature is being renewed every day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing fur us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, because we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen; for the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”

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2 responses to this post.

  1. Glad you’re having a better day. Good luck with the job search!

    Reply

  2. Praying everything works out for you quickly. Love your additude and faith! 🙂 I always tend to think about Jeremiah 29:11 during times like that. He knows the way through and He’s in control. *hugs*

    Reply

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