Why Can’t I Punch People in the Face?

Before I got pregnant, I would spend time around pregnant people, and sometimes, some of them would be… A little curt. Tactless. Rude. Snarky. Completely and utterly bitchy. And everyone would shrug and chalk it up to pregnancy. But I figured, if I ever got pregnant, that wouldn’t be me. I mean, hey, I may have all kinds of thoughts and emotions but I’m an adult who has self control, who doesn’t have to give in to every impulse I have. Right?

The last 24 hours I’ve been behaving about like a 3 year old, hopped up on sugar, overtired from a day at Disneyland, with uncontrollable tantrums.

In the beginning of the pregnancy, I would have emotional moments, and it would feel like an out of body experience. Even as I cried or grumped or whatever the emotion was – I would also be aware that I was overreacting, and I would think about how ridiculous I was being.

But the last 24 hours? Nope. People are morons who are pissing me off, how can they not comprehend why I am raging?!?!

Hubster has always had a fairly sarcastic sense of humor. (which I’ve always loved as I can be quite sarcastic myself). He also has a shorter temper, but usually I’m fairly skilled at remaining calm, and getting him to calm down too. However, with the combination of sarcasm and short temper, I cannot tell you how much I have wanted to punch him in the face. Or kick him out of the car. Or at the very least go on an incredibly nasty screaming rant. Luckily, I did have enough self control NOT to do those things, but I’m pretty sure Hubster won’t be giving me any gold stars regardless.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. And I feel like chalking it up to the pregnancy is just insulting, and overlooking the root of the issue.

The problem is, I don’t know what the root issue is.

Also, this rage seems to come and go in the blink of an eye. The only reason I’m even aware that I’m acting out of the ordinary is the fact that we’ve been arguing so much, and a tiny voice in my head pointed out that’s abnormal. Which just makes me angrier. Figure that out?

Please oh please can I just take all this pent up anger out on an abandoned car with a baseball bat???

Well, at least I know what to talk about at confession this month…

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9 responses to this post.

  1. Please don’t take this the wrong way, but it really could be the hormones. For me, pregnancy was pretty much 40 weeks of PMS. (I had the added joy of GD, so that messed with my moods too.) I was up, down, and all over the place.

    Hang in there. Remember to take time to breathe. You can do this.

    Reply

    • I think just sitting down to write this out helped me sort through the day. And helped me to talk about the day with Hubster. It may very well be the hormones. Plus the stress of the job situation. Plus the crummy sleep. It’s just I’m not usually this “out of control”, I get frustrated with myself. I don’t want to make excuses, and I don’t want to hurt people I care about.

      Reply

  2. Posted by babycrazykiwi on August 1, 2012 at 10:58 pm

    Totally agree with the above comment. What you’ve written could be me on any given cycle about 5 days before AF arrives. RED RAG RAGE. Seething anger over the most stupid things. Its awful and very hard to control. I was fantastic while using the creams to keep my hormones in check but now I’ve stopped things are regressing rather quickly. At least you’re aware of yourself when feeling this way that’s surely a good step forward.

    Reply

    • Lol, “red rag rage” – that’s hilarious 🙂
      Ya, I figure acknowledging I have a problem is the first step towards fixing it. Or something along those lines anyway!

      Reply

  3. If the pregnancy is messing with your sleep, that’s contributing too. My husband is the calmest person on the planet, and yet 8 weeks of no real sleep, I’ve seen him get really angry/frustrated. The lack of sleep leads to really ragey thoughts and if you don’t walk away from the cause of the rage, can lead to action. I’ve had to put the girls down and walk outside while they screamed inside because if I didn’t walk away for a few minutes, the ragey thoughts would have become ragey actions.

    Reply

    • I’ve been thinking about you tons the last couple weeks, hoping you’re doing ok. It’s true, it’s always better to walk away and cool off. I had a really great conversation with a friend of mine a few days back about the first month or two after her son was born, and you’re definitely not alone in you’re feelings and thoughts – seems to all be pretty normal. Wacky hormones and messed up sleep really takes it tole!

      Reply

      • I’m starting to take the girls out sometimes so the next time you’re in the area, we should get coffee/tea.

  4. I think it’s totally okay to attribute moods like this to situational factors (e.g. pregnancy, job situation, sleep) BUT also recognize that you are responsible for your resulting behaviour.This is a far cry from being all “I’m pregnant! The end!” I mean, pg hormones are totally legit, and not something you are used to, like PMS you can see coming. It CAN be really, really hard to put your finger on what is pushing your buttons because everything is pushing all your buttons! This is a wonderful time, yes, but also a time of tremendous life (not to mention physical) changes. The fact that you recognize that it’s this, plus other stuff, and you aren’t pleased about it is a pretty big deal. And a good thing!

    It’s cool. Deep breathes. And the occasional chocolate milkshake doesn’t hurt either! 🙂

    Reply

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