Well, today was a very emotional day.  I am so poop-ed.

Last night went fairly smoothly at the job, although I did have a bit of difficulty convincing the elderly woman (Whom I will be calling “Ruth”) to take her medications.  I did have to get some help from her daughter, but she was very kind about that.  Apparently there are plenty of times that Ruth gets it into her head not to take her meds.  I will be going in again Thursday evening. The daughter “Esther” told me she thought everything went really well and was really happy, and I could tell she thinks this is going to work, which really made my heart all warm and fuzzy.

When I got home Hubster was in the middle of a very intense deep kitchen clean.  Under the burners and everything!  Basically when he started, all of our dishes were dirty, piled up in the sinks and on the counters, and when he was done everything was clean. If I hadn’t been so tired, I would have pounced him.  A man who cleans is a very. sexy. man.

So back to this morning, I puttered about the apartment, put away some laundry, spent some time with the dogs, and making sure to clean up after myself in the kitchen!  Then I headed out to do some flyers for my friends.  I think I talked about them before, but in case I didn’t, some friends of mine (we shall call them Amy and Sheldon.  …Big Bang? Anyone?) have a computer business, and like a lot of things in this economy, their business is struggling, so they offered me the ability to hang up door flyers for their business, and I would get a commission on anything that comes in.  Kind of a win-win.  So I went up to do that, and admittedly I got a later start then I had intended.  Which meant that by the time I swung by the office and got out to the neighborhood they wanted, it was hot.  HOOOOOOOOOOOOT.  Probably over 80.  At least, in my world, that is hot.    So after walking around (some pretty steep hills) for an hour and a half, I was pretty dang tired, thirsty, and starting to feel nauseous which I have learned is my body’s way of telling me that I need to sit down and eat something.  So I headed back to their office to let them know what I had gotten done.  One thing I should have mentioned; when I first got there Sheldon had greeted me with “How was your new job?  Are the people mean?”
Me: Uhhh…. no Sheldon.  They were nice.
Sheldon then went on to tell me about a friend who works in life insurance, and is looking to hire, and basically told me that I would be perfect for it, and all but told me to blow off my new job for this job.

Now, I understand that a job like that would really set us up.  We could stop treading water, pay off our bills, and our dreams of a cute little cabin on a patch o’ land with cows and a garden would be a lot closer then we imagine currently… but I know what working for salary means.  You work until the job is done.  Nights.  Weekends.  Because my dad did that, and he missed out on a lot my childhood.  But I was thinking about it as I was walking around hanging flyers all afternoon.

But what that meant is that by the time I got home I was exhausted, stressed, hungry, and grumpy.  Hubster could tell something was up, and in his kind inquiry I basically had a total melt down in the kitchen.  I told him about how, as much as Sheldon was probably trying to be well meaning, I am so tired of people telling me I’m not doing enough.  I told him how I thought Hubster was disappointed that the job I had found wasn’t full time.  As much as making more money would be great, I also just can’t imagine doing the job of selling life insurance.  (I had gone on the companies Wikipedia page, to try and get a better idea of what they do… and I couldn’t even understand the basic Wikipedia description of the company. I’m sure that if I set my mind to it, I could do it… but my gut feeling is that this is really NOT the job for me.)  I just feel so frustrated that, all I want is to be content.  I don’t mind having a modest life.  I just can only do so much, as I take into account that my body is trying to grow another person.  And in the face of my emotional breakdown Hubster was so amazing, so supportive.  He told me that he’s not disappointed about my new job.  He actually did some quick math, and while it’s less hours, it pays more per hour, so I am going to come home with a pretty comparable take home pay.  The conversation basically ended with Hubster telling me he wouldn’t “let” me apply to sell life insurance, because life insurance salesmen lose their souls.  Which got me laughing through my tears.

Best. Husband. Ever.

So between walking around in the heat and then crying a lot, I am beat.  And will now be going to bed.  Goodnight one and all, I hope you readers are finding better sanity in your lives then I am!


One response to this post.

  1. Hey, you are doing the best you can and know your limits. There are good advice and expectations in all areas of life but in the end it’s your choice. I’m so glad your husband is so supportive. It seems like you guys are turning a corner and are in a good place right now.


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