What’s in a number? A rose by any other number would still be 27…

March 18th. And I turn 27.

I’ve never been someone who freaks out and gets depressed by my birthday. On the contrary, I love the excuse to together with friends and family and have a good time! I know that in today’s day and age, 27 is still really young. I have a long full life ahead of me, God willing.

I have been looking forward to my birthday month with enthusiasm. I say month, because with people’s various schedules I have gotten to spread out the fun quite a bit! Friday night my mom took me and Hubster to a comedy club. Saturday night after work I will be going out with co-workers for drinks. Sunday afternoon I plan to get some father-daughter quality time. Next Friday I will be hanging out with my best friend Jewel. And the last weekend of the month I will be attending a women’s retreat with my church at a monastery! So, lots of exciting, positive things!

I have friends that are a year or two younger then me that aren’t married. Or haven’t figured out their careers yet. But they aren’t stressing, they know the still have plenty of time. They see that they have plenty of time for those things. (these would be the friends who dint ever want kids) I’ve accomplished a lot for my age. Married. Out of school and working in my career field. Especially in the last 6 months/year I have really scaled back spending habits and gotten a better idea in budgeting. (although there is always room for improvement!)

I remember when we decided to start trying for a family. After dating 4 years and bring married 2 years. I was 24.

Everyone told me I was so young, too young, I should not be thinking if babies yet.

But now I’m 27. Still with no babies in my arms. Facing a very real fertility issue. I can’t help feeling like there is a significant difference between 24 and 27. I can’t help but think that 30 (while very young, hip and sexy in our culture!) is a red flag on a pregnant woman’s chart. That not only is her ability to get pregnant diminished, but her ability to stay healthy herself, and give birth to a healthy baby, is diminished. 30 means complications. Plain and simple. And 27 is so SO much closer to 30 then 24. Significantly different.

And so, even though I am the person who gets annoyed by people who cry on their birthday, I’m finding myself emotional. But not because I feel “old” by and large, in the context of life as a whole. Just by recognizing what this means in aspect of fertility. And what my future holds. Because I do very much want children to be in my future. And every year without them means my chances are slipping away.

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4 responses to this post.

  1. Happy birthday!

    I’m going to be 34 in June, and I am so not looking forward to it because that means I’m only a year away from the big 3-5. And that’s a super scary age for me. And much older than I wanted to be having my first child. I know what you mean when you say you feel chances slipping away with each passing year. I wish my eggs had a pause button!

    Reply

  2. Posted by babycrazykiwi on March 17, 2012 at 2:06 pm

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY my girl!!!! Yes I totally get what you’re feeling. I’m having a birthday next weekend and going through the same thoughts. Except nearly all my friends have babies and husbands and I feel left behind. I was 26 when I started trying I’ll be 29 next week (eek I hate even saying it!!!). I definately felt after 25 that I didn’t want to have any more birthdays…27 was one I really didn’t like turning for some reason and now 29 is another. But I am determined to enjoy the day and the last year of my 20s and hopefully achieve that elusive bfp. Wishing you a wonderful chick and here’s to a bfp in the near future.

    Reply

  3. Not telling you not to be emotional as your feelings are quite valid but remember someone always has it worse than you and me. I’m 42 and still attempting to have my first child. I’ve miscarried 4 times losing 5 babies. Every road has its ruts and rocks. You will have to just learn to fill in the ruts and walk around the rocks. Good luck!

    Reply

  4. Ha, your “30” is my “35” thats the year I associate a slippery slope into a plethora of fertility difficulties. Happy birthday for several days ago, anyway xxx

    Reply

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