Cycles. And I don’t mean bicycles.

I woke up this morning and glanced at the calendar.  And then I looked again.  Why?  Because I’m on cycle day 26.  For most women, this would be well within the realm of normalcy.  But I tend to have cycles lasting 21-24 days.  Not the “average” of 26 to 28.  At first there is that spark in the back of my brain “Maybe I’m pregnant!”  … but then I remember that would be basically impossible, since the only sex we’ve had has been with protection, as we have still yet to get Hubster in for his HIV test.  And as far as I can imagine, a broken condom would have been fairly obvious.  But I can’t help but run down the “pregnancy checklist”…. which is pretty close to the “PMS checklist”.  Moody and craving chocolate?  Yes. (But not as moody as I usually am before my period either)  Frequent urination, breast tenderness, excessive tiredness? Nope.

And let’s not forget that the irony behind a woman getting pregnant “on accident” after over 2 years of unsuccessful attempts/fertility assistance is so grossly large, I don’t know what I would do with myself except feel like a total loser, imposter, fake and fraud of infertility.

So no, I won’t POAS.  I’m sure I have some HPTs, in the back of the cabinet under the sink, but I’m not wasting my time, emotions or sanity on them.

All that it comes down to is that now, my body (while within the length of the average woman’s normal cycle, but NOT mine) is a week late.  My body is up to new shenanigans.  I’m not sure if it’s doing this to screw with me; if I should take it that by lasting longer it’s a good sign that maybe my body is becoming magically fertile, or if I should take it as a bad sign that my body is getting more messed up then ever and that my biological clock is in it’s final wind-down death-throes stage.

Please, Hubster get your booty into that stupid office so you can take the stupid blood test so we can get back into stupid fertility treatments so I can figure out what’s going on with my stupid body!

Or maybe my period can just start later today making this entire post and insanity-filled-inner-dialogue moot.

Advertisements

6 responses to this post.

  1. I’m only laughing because I’ve had the exact same “insanity-filled-inner-dialogue.” My cycles are also shorter than average, so on the rare occasion I go 26 days without starting my period, I have a brief, crazy “maybe I’m pregnant” moment, even though I also know it’s 100% impossible. Hope yours gets here soon so you can get off the crazy train!

    Reply

    • Well, Monday evening and STILL no sign of impending menses. But with a very demanding job it has helped to keep my mind off of it for the most part. (I tried “tempting fate” by going to work without any pads or tampons, but no such luck)

      We shall see how long this drags out for… Glad to know I’m not alone in my inner rants though! 🙂

      Reply

  2. Posted by babycrazykiwi on January 29, 2012 at 9:59 pm

    On the testing thing ….I have that same conversation in my head cept it goes “Get your ass into that stupid car and drive to that stupid hospital and do that stupid test”. Its frustrating when you just think you know your body and hello it goes and changes on you. Thinking of you chick xx

    Reply

    • Thanks for the thoughts Kiwi 🙂
      I just wish that I could make everything work the way I want it to, just when I want it to.

      😛

      Ya, I know I know, beyond unrealistic!

      Reply

  3. What is taking him so long to get tested? What is he afraid of? Good luck.

    Reply

    • Well, at first it was because he was working 7 days a week, there really wasn’t time. Then he kept forgetting (he thought he already done it or something like that). Then he DID schedule it, but it had to get rescheduled due to a very important friend’s birthday that took us out of town for 2 days. So now it is scheduled for this Wednesday.

      I hope he can get the results quickly! I know there are two types of tests, one is faster, but the longer one is (I think) cheaper… We shall see!

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: