Stupid things I say

One of the consequences of infertility is that we learn to get personal. We regularly discuss everything from frequency of sex to cervical fluid. We don’t hesitate to think that all manner of bodily functions are not “appropriate” to share.

Case on point:

Today my coworkers were having a discussion of tampons (o.b. vs. applicator types) and the hilarity of when the tampons aren’t quite in correctly and you walk around funny… So because I couldn’t use tampons until I was an adult due to them being incredibly uncomfortable (and perhaps I was also just very unaware of my body?) I chipped in “ya, I couldn’t use tampons until after I had sex a few times.”

Laughter dies, and one of my coworkers exclaims “wow, way to make the conversation totally awkward! Yuck!”

Needless to say, I turned bright red and stammered a bit before walking away.

On one hand, maybe that was a bit of an over-share. But on the other hand, we are a group of women, in the medical field. So, really??? Was it so inappropriate? And was it really necessary to make me feel like such a loser?

I’m vacillating between total humiliation (how do I face her tomorrow???) and just being pissed at her childishness (what the hell is wrong with HER?)

And the real kicker is she has probably totally forgotten about it and moved on like a normal person.

Hoping that be throwing this out to the blogosphere it won’t keep me up tonight obsessing over it.


16 responses to this post.

  1. Wait, I’m not the only one who obsesses over an innocuous comment that most likely no one else even remembers? And, yeah, I totally get the no boundaries thing. I find myself talking about things at work that no one needs to hear about. But I can’t seem to make my mouth stop talking.


  2. Lol, I’m sorry. That is really my kind of move. Tell her to get the stick out of her butt. She just wants to be at the top of the “shock value ” group. I didn’t think anyone working medical would be that.


  3. Posted by babycrazykiwi on January 17, 2012 at 12:27 am

    My god you were discussing tampons not being in right – that’s pretty personal so I don’t think you’re comment was so bad! I know it’s hard but just brush it off and act like normal tomorrow. If someone had said that in a conversation I’d been part of I’d actually be more intrigued that anything else so she should jsut get over herself and her silly comments.


  4. Sorry but this made me laugh, mostly at your colleagues reaction. If you were already discussing that topic I don’t think your comment was that shocking. but maybe I’m used to talk and over share as well after going through fertility treatments. Yeah, it’s personal but quite natural at the same time. I’d say don’t worry about it.


  5. Go figure how your comment went over the line. Tampon discussion at work is highly inappropriate talk. If they can talk about that then they shouldn’t be all bent out with the sex thing. Maybe they were just jealous that you brought up sex before the leader of the pack did herself.

    Dust off your shoulder and push it to the back of your mind. Next time they bring up stuff like that make a random odd comment just to throw them off. Something in tune with what they are discussing thrown into the comment to bring them around. Like TLC or Nation’l Geograph stuff.


    • agree with the comments here – my impression was that someone was a little awkward with the topic anyway and projected on to what you said. Tampons not being in right, to having sex – I’d rate at about the same level of ‘personal’. Its not for you to own someone else’s awkwardness. And I would expect medical people to be a wee bit more comfortable talking about physiological stuff.
      And I don’t know why or what, but I know that something can be said by one person and it dies, but exact same thing said by someone else is funny.

      I use the mooncup instead of tampons, now THATS a way to make people feel awkward if discussing stuff like that. Because, OMG, you actually have to touch yourself, and there might be a bit of blood. ffs (you could totally push the topic in THAT direction and that might completely bury any awkwardness talking about *whispers* sex.

      And yep, we get sooooo used to discussing our bodies and what they are doing/not doing, in the course of infertility and treatment, that what might make most people awkward, just doesn’t register on the Shame-o-meter


      • I was actually thinking about those mooncups as the discussion was taking place, mostly in that I’ve never tried them but been intrigued by them and was curious if any of them had ever tried one… guess I’m glad I didn’t ask at work!

    • Thanks Rebecca, I like your idea of throwing them off. My brain tends to make weird connections anyway, usually I just keep my mouth shut but I guess I could share the first thing that comes to mind!


  6. perhaps she meant it as a joke? as in “gee, THANKS for sharing!”


    • I guess it’s always possible. The particular person does tend to have a kind of snarky-sense-of-humor, but it still came across kind of harsh.

      Oh well, today was very normal so I have to assume I’m the only one still thinking about it.


  7. I think, in the context of your conversation, it wasn’t out of line at all. Either she’s a prude or just gunning for attention.

    And I think in any situation where women are in close quarters, eventually you will have those conversations. I worked in a bookstore with an almost all female management team and we could embarass our general manager in a heartbeat just by bringing up ‘female stuff’.


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