The Much Anticipated Review

But before I talk about the movie, a bit of an update on me for those who don’t care about the movie! Acupuncture appointment went well.  The first time I tried the herbs I didn’t think they tasted as bad as they smelled, the second time I was able to gulp it down… and I have yet to drink them again.  The problem is boiling these herbs made my ENTIRE APARTMENT stink to high heaven and it’s so nauseating I can’t bring myself to put my nose closer to the source of the smell.  Plus I can’t imagine taking that stuff to my job to drink 1 cup 3 times a day… If I were my supervisor I would fire me for bringing that stank to my place of work.  I also was paranoid that drinking the stuff was making ME smell like the herbs and that was the final cherry on the top of my gross-out-sundae. At my weight-loss appointment I have only lost 4 lbs in the last 4 weeks.  Which to me feels beyond negligible.  We had a chat about the fact that I got out of the habit of eating small frequent meals, and I need to do that to maintain my metabolism.  Skipping a meal won’t help me lose weight, even though that seems inaccurate.  And surprisingly I was able to keep myself together Friday amazingly well on 3 hours of sleep!  I really didn’t even feel the exhaustion for the most part!  The moment when I did finally feel the exhaustion was when I realized I had a low tire and didn’t have change to feed the air machine and broke down crying in the gas station and the attendant took pity on me and gave me a couple quarters.  But I got home, had some food and went to bed.  So hurray that it didn’t effect my ability to perform my job!  🙂

Alrighty ladies.  I know you’ve all been on the absolute-last-millimeter-of-space-edge-of-your-seat in impatience to hear how the latest installment of the “Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn” went.  Below is my general review, written in bold, spoiler-free (assuming you’ve read the books and have a general idea of what the storyline is.  Below the bold area, is more specific review details, that holds spoilers.  This way you can read my review and maintain yourself spoiler free if you so choose.

Jewel and I got to the theater at around 9:45, expecting there to be a large line but were happily surprised that they had opened the theater so we could go right in and get comfy.  There were some people that had beaten us there but we still got some great seats.  Then began the waiting… thank goodness for smart phones!  We played games on them and chatted.  (Being two girls who have known one another since elementary school, the conversation inevitably turned to sex.  But with all the teeny-boppers around we had to keep our voices down and try not to destroy their naivete lol) Right at 12:30am Friday morning the lights dimmed… the the commercials changed to previews… and then…. TO THE MOVIE!  Jewel is a bit of a skeptic of the series, neither really loving or hating it, so we mocked the people that screamed when the guys took their shirts off but gushed over Bella’s wedding dress (A really perfect blend of vintage-meets-modern sophistication).  I was impressed how closely they followed the book, without use of excessive artistic license.  I recognized several lines as coming directly off the page.  So on that note, I think it was well done.  I know they have to make certain trims and cuts for time, but there were a few bits that I really wish had been left in, but I think such is the case for all books-turned-movie.  If you’re not really a “Twilight” fan, I don’t imagine you will really love the movie.  On that note, there were enough people in the audience that clearly had NOT read the books that were surprised and disturbed by the end-of-movie events, and all I have to say to them is this:  The books are VERY easy to read.  What person goes to see a movie based on a book, without reading the book?!  (Ok, ok, ok, I didn’t read the Lord of the Rings books, but in my defense, those books take much longer to read and were written between 1937 and 1949 so it’s not like the movies came out along with the books… I was good and read Harry Potter books before watching the movies.  Also, I saw the first movie of Twilight without reading the book, but I didn’t know there was a book until after… Ok, I’m judgmental and snobby.  So sue me.) Everyone knows that while movies can bring our favorite moments to life, a movie cannot communicate certain thoughts and experiences in the way a book can.  But then again, I love to read, and I might be a touch of a bi-otch like that…

Alrighty, read on only if you dare!  There be spoilers galore!

Things I loved:

-Music moments: As the musicians play at the wedding, they play “Bella’s Lullaby” from the first movie.  There is another moment during the wedding when they re-use music from the first movie.  In the first movie it was played while Bella and Edward dance at the prom, gazing into each others eyes. In a similar shot during the wedding the music comes on.  I’m sure not everyone noticed it, but I DO have the soundtracks!

-Bella freaking out over finally being seen naked.  I don’t know about you guys but my first time was rather… unplanned.  But if I had known when I would be having sex for the first time in advance I probably would have had a similar moment of over-thinking-freak-out.

-I have no idea how they did it, but the special effects team did an AMAZINGLY realistic job of making Bella look like she is wasting away during the pregnancy.  It was disturbing, but because it looked so REAL.  Jewel and I actually had a brief hushed debate as to whether of not the actress had really lost weight for the role, but the amount of intense anorexia it would have taken for her to get to the point of the movie is unrealistic, unhealthy, and possibly illegal to think any director would ask that of their actor.

-There were several points throughout the film where they used short cuts to help communicate an emotion, experience or memory and I think it was artsy, creative and effective.  It definitely helped to give a darker, edgier feel to this movie.

Things that mildly annoyed me:

-As much as I loved Bella’s dress, the fit was just a smidgen off, and there was some darting that landed with the points on the front of her boobs and it just looked… a little tacky at certain angles.  I’m no seamstress, but if the darts have been adjusted a little, or had laid flat instead of sticking out a bit, it wouldn’t have been as distracting.

-In the books Alice and Rosalie wear silver bridesmaid dresses, but in the movie they wear purple… but they look great and the whole effect is really beautiful so I can’t complain too loudly.  Also, the ceremony doesn’t take place in the Cullen’s home but on their lawn… again, a small change that had a great effect, but I still noticed it.

-On the honeymoon, they lost the storyline of Bella enjoying being human (and having sex) so much that she considers going to college.  There isn’t a recognition of her being afraid of losing herself for the first few years of vampiric life.

-When Edward asks Jacob to appeal to Bella to have an abortion to save her life, he doesn’t offer for Jacob to have children with her.  (Specifically I miss it when he says “She can have puppies for all I care!”)  Admittedly, it’s not a major plot point, but it was humerus and I was bummed it didn’t make it in the movie.

Things that just plain ticked me off:

-We finally “hear” what it is like in the wolves heads as they speak to one another…  But instead of it just being the actor’s normal voices, they got put through some machine (in an attempt to make them sound more intimidating???) that really only came across as cheesy.

-I really don’t like how they dump Jacob’s imprinting on the audience.  The actual moment was sweet, however, we never see Quil imprint on Claire, and are thus exposed to the fact that imprinting is more than romantic or erotic. (as Wikipedia defines: Jacob explains that there is currently nothing romantic about his feelings, and that Quil will be whatever Claire needs him to be at each point in her life, whether it be a brother, friend, protector, or lover.)  Thus the audience (at least the losers, illiterates, …. non-fans) who didn’t read the books wouldn’t have been quite so disgusted by the idea of Jacob imprinting as he did.  I just feel like the creators dropped the ball in a big way.  Technically this storyline should have been revealed in Eclipse… I had hoped they would integrate it into Breaking Dawn but was seriously disappointed.    I will give them that there is a moment (BRIEF MOMENT!) when Jacob is talking with Leah about imprinting and they look at everyone who has supposedly imprinted that includes a profile of guy with a toddler, but if you didn’t read the books you could assume it was father/daughter…

So, there ya go.  My review of the Breaking Dawn.

Can I go see it again yet???  😀


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