It is Amazing What can Happen in a Day (or two)

Alrighty. Loads to catch up on!

Yesterday I was able to get us in to our new counselor. Who I will be calling Ms.Communication. Because it’s funny but it’s also a big part of what we talked about. Our feelings, our hopes, our fears… I had actually met with her last week after I got the news, so first thing she met with Hubster individually, than called me in for a group session. (yes, this took a good chunk of time)

Serious, major progress was made.

I cannot tell you how much I appreciate that she basically cleared her afternoon for us!

Sure, really forming the trust will take time. But we are holding hands, and doing a little cuddling.

I think the real reason we can work through this (and all the years if sucky sex) is because we made a big effort to be friends first, that is our foundation. When we first met, we had both had previously been in super crappy relationships and didn’t want this to be some kind of “rebound”. So it wasn’t for about 3 months that we finally started “dating”. And I can’t tell you how grateful I am to have that friendship to fall back on when times are tough.

We talked a lot about the sex stuff (duh) and it seems like a light came on in him since he got back, he is not only open to trying some new things but EXCITED about it, and coming up with some ideas himself! As sucky as the situation is, we both have to wonder if we would be pursuing therapy, being open minded, and having these conversations if it hadn’t happened. So if out if this, we walk away stronger, with better communication… Than I think it’s worth the crappy parts for the good parts you get out of it. Does that make sense?

Then after counseling we spent the evening with Polly and her crew. Admittedly, I was undecided, I figured either Hubster would hate them or totally hit it off with them. It was definitely the later! Hearing him and Polly laugh together totally made a good day a great day.

And that is my happy of yesterday.
Day 26 of 100…

Today I went on an interview for a nanny position. Not my career path, but I loved it when I was in college, and figured any job is better than no job although I was concerned about wether this family would be a good fit. Turns out we hit it off, and I’m doing a trial run tomorrow afternoon! Yay for a job!!!!!

Then I received a phone call from my dad to join him and my stepmom out at the lake (they rv camp and have a pair of jet skis) I have been unable to go on any of their trips this summer, and Hubster and I agreed that our plans for the afternoon could be moved to tomorrow so we grabbed swimsuits and went! (am I brave or what???)

If my husband was raised on horseback, I was raised on the water. I throw off my normal super-careful, overly-analytical, panic-attack-ness, and zoom out there (we topped out today at 68mph!), doing tight turns, jumping waves… My adrenaline junkie emerges. Because Hubster 1-has never ridden a jet ski, and 2-has a fear of water I drove. He admitted it was a good trust exercise lol.

Ironically I did accidentally flip the thing, but the embarrassing part is we weren’t going fast! (although the way we went was significantly less painful! And I speak from experience haha!). The whole thing was really healing. Water soothes my soul. And it had moments of being incredibly romantic (the beautiful scenery, the fact he has to snug up pretty tight to me) but with the speed and adrenaline it kept it out of awkward-ville.

And I have the worlds best dad who with a good dose of patience and humor, helping us flip the jet ski back upright and tow it back to land (the engine got filled with water 😦 ) so now we are currently sitting ’round the fire pit discussing dinner and ‘s’mores.

My happy of the day: this moment after we had flipped and we were looking at eachother and laughing.

It was like a scene out of some cheesy romantic comedy.

But I think it’s exactly what we needed.
Day 27 of 100 Days of Happiness.

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4 responses to this post.

  1. i’m so happy to hear of your happy, good day! i’ve been reading and sending you thoughts of strength and clarity to know what to do and how to go about it during such a time.

    Reply

  2. i haven’t heard you so happy in… well, never, actually (not that I’ve known you all that long) – and I am so, SO happy for you!

    wherever you guys arrive, I think will be the right place for the two of you as a couple.

    You know, when me and my hubby still dated, I broke up with him. I told him it all was moving too fast, and I had some other issues. We didn;t see each other or talk for about a month – initiated by me. He sat and waited patiently while I was trying to figure this all out for myself.

    And then he came to talk, and I looked him in the eye, and I knew: this is it, I am going to marry this guy. Mind you, we were still dating long-distance at the time and he had no intentions to propose – at the time.

    But that break was oh-so-worth it. I came to appreciate him more. And he changed some of the things that bothered me about him, he really worked hard – and changed.

    So… sometimes stressful events are definitely for the best. They make yiy think, re-evaluate, and, most importantly, talk.

    Be happy, honey πŸ™‚

    Reply

  3. That’s so great that you had that time together. Laughing and doing something active that let you be together while forcing the serious away for a stint.

    I’m really glad that the councellor worked out for you. It makes such a difference to find one that you can trust and that you both can talk to. I’m still wishing that Hubby and I had done couples councelling when our shit hit the fan (intended with no follow through) but I’m really glad that he’d agreed to come with me for miscarriage coucelling (when shit hit the fan so bad it almost ended us again…all from miscommunication). So when you find something that helps, grab on and hold tight.

    hope the job trial run goes well.

    Reply

  4. Sorry that it’s been so long and sorry to hear that you’v been through so much. Your counsellor sounds lovely and you are so strong. Love to you always xoxo

    Reply

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