Today my husband asked for my blog address.  It came up because he realized that since  a fair number of our mutual friends read this, he probably should know what all is going on and being said… I have a few mixed emotions on this, but I know that many blogger’s significant others read their blogs…  So I basically told him fine but to read at his own peril.

Moving on, I’ve had this post rolling around in my head for a few days so bombs away!

I keep thinking about words.  Specifically, “love” and “forgive”.  Trying to think about what they mean.  I mean, I know what it means when I say “I love you” to my mom, to my best friend, to my dogs.  And I know what it means (meant) to say the the guy I married.  I realize that I see him as two people.  There is the guy I met 8 years ago, the one we have a million inside jokes, we quote Friends and Scrubs to each other (and The Boo.ndock Saints), the one I sat with and dreamed of a future and a family with.  And I can say that I really do love that guy.

And then there is this new guy.  The guy who … did this thing.  I don’t know this guy.

We throw these words around, Love, and Forgiveness.  And I guess I’m just having a hard time wrapping my head around it.  I want to get there, where I know them and can say them.

So dear readers, chime in.  And if you want to reference a dictionary that’s fine, but elaborate, eh?

Oh, almost forgot;

Happy of the day: I got new pajamas!  Hurray for sale lol.

Day 23 of 100 Days of Happiness.


12 responses to this post.

  1. I think you will regret giving him the URL.


    • lol, possible, but she did warn him. He wont be coming in here expecting things to be all fluffy.


      • In some ways I do have some real trepidations, but I guess in the spirit of “Go Big, or Go Home”, it’s like “Be Honest, or Go Home”.

        And ya, he has plenty of warnings. I’m going to do my best not to let this alter the way I post. Feel free to let me know if you guys notice a change! I expect plenty of up-smacking to the head from you ladies!

  2. Went Hubby and I had our issues, I didn’t really see him as two different people, but more myself like that. The person I was before (innocentish, rose-colored glasses, head over heels in love with him) and the person I became after. I’m now much less trusting, jaded, but aware and willing to stand up for myself (and not afraid to piss him off when need be). I don’t know which is better, but I can’t go back. I may not be that same ‘head over heels’ girl, but at least I know I really love my husband and I’m stubborn enough to work my ass off for what I have.
    You’ll learn a lot about yourself from this.


  3. Hm… Less trusting? Check. Not afraid to piss him off when needed? Check. Stubborn enough to work my ass off for this relationship? Check. Learning a lot about myself? Check.

    I realized today that whenever I have envisioned this kind of scenario, I always figured I would become a completely debilitated, shell of a person. For, like, years. But after about 48ish hours vacillating between comatose and hysterics, I. Am. O. K. I will survive this. I am stronger than I realized. I feel like that revelation is worthy of it’s own post.

    Maybe tomorrow.


    • Oh, I MAY have forgotten to mention the months of serious denial in there where I was doing “too well”. But it did pass too. The extra bad will come and go, dont get down on yourself about that either.

      You are stronger than you realize (even when you wish you weren’t).


      • OH! So that’s what I’m in right now? Because ya, I was thinking I was “getting over” this a tad too quickly. Worrying I was being an idiot or a push over or a doormat or something. But I’m just in denial. Ok, ya, I guess I am. Hmmm…. Any idea of when I get passed this and REALLY be doing well? *facepalm*

      • That all depends on you and the situation, sorry. But magority of my friends were on the “dont mention it” side of life, so that prolonged my denial a lot I think. That and my Hubby being in another city…
        But denial is natural. Your head goes there for a while when it can’t deal. And in, and out, and in…and shake it all about. You know the routine. Bit by bit you get closer to better. Shall I add in a “slow and steady wins the race”? 😉

  4. Hang on. HE cheats on YOU then wants to read YOUR blog.

    something doesn’t quite add up here

    (I know, I know, its your man and your relationship etcetc)


    • Er, ya, I guess that sums it up.

      I can still haz chokolate?


      • of course
        everything slows down after this week, hopefully. I have a reminder in my phone and also in my head to sort you out, don’t worry, no way have I forgotten at all in any way whatsoever!

    • I was thinking the same thing…

      Why does he need to see your blog now? He’s the one who made a mistake and this is your place to vent about it… I hope you don’t regret giving him the url…

      Praying for you…


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: