Can’t Make This Sh!t Up

I just spent the last 2+ hours chasing two turkeys around, trying to get them to go into their coop (aka SAFE place to sleep).  Why was I having such a hard time, you ask?  Well, I was chasing them through underbrush a minefield of thorny vines and dead tree limbs, tripping me every step, (me in my pajamas no less) and an assault of low-hanging living tree limbs attacking my face and hair.

I think I need another shower.

Whichever-Nincompoop-Historic-American-Leader that thought the country’s mascot should be the Turkey, I now think less of you. (Thank you Doctor Google, I now know it was Benjamin Franklin.  You sir, were a bit of a twit!)  I can most definitely tell you I am suddenly MUCH more enthusiastic about Thanksgiving this year.

The icing on the cake?  I go to go back in the house (rumpled, exhausted, twigs and bark and bit-o-plant hanging from me) and realize that one of the dogs must have jumped up and accidentally maliciously turned the lock on the doorhandle, so I was locked out.  Of course I immediately think back to this morning when Polly showed me where the hide-a-key lives…. as well as the memory *hehe* that I put it on my key ring *hahaha* which of course is in the house because *oh, stop, I can’t breath because I’m laughing so hard!* I didn’t want to have to dig the key out every time I came and went!  So NOW, I’m traipsing around the house jiggeling every screen that has an open window so I can break into my best friend’s home. *hysterical laughter ensues*

Ahem. *slow breathing*  

*please know all this italicized cr@p is sarcasm, as I sit and mock myself*

Well, I am inside.  Andvery tired of all this Tom-Foolery (Get it? Tom? Turkey?!  I’m so pun-y…  Can you guys tell I’m exhausted?????)

I got very little sleep last night, and was hoping to be in bed and asleep hours ago so I would be refreshed for my day tomorrow.  I thought about leaving those idiotic birds out, but then kept thining “What if they run into the road and get hit by a car?  What if a coyote gets them?  How can you face your childhood friend and tell her you let her down???” 

Oh my inner guilt-trip monologue.

Anyway, I felt I had to share my adventures of the “rascaly and farm-ous” with y’all. (Heeeeey, another pun!  Am I on a roll or WHAT?!)

And NOW, I’m going to bed come hell or high water.

Happy of the day?  That I got those damn birds in the coop.  I WON!!!!!!!! MAUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

…. still day 16 of 100 Days of Happiness.


5 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by babycrazykiwi on August 27, 2011 at 1:46 am

    Sorry but I had to laugh. I could just picture the whole scene in my mind with the turkey’s. Glad you found your way back into the house though.


    • Posted by BleedinTulip on August 27, 2011 at 8:26 am

      Oh I totally agree! I knew that if I had been on the outside watching this happen I would have been laughing, I meant for it to be funny for you guys 🙂


  2. OMG I love this – totally have to steal this … Yay on saving the baby birdie 😀

    Happy ICLW from # 86 ❤


  3. […] I glance back at my posts, some stick out to me as especially funny, witty, powerful or insightful.  Most though, are a lot of aimless drivel of one complaint […]


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