Musings on a Grey Day

I’ve got a couple good things to ramble about today.  I’m sure you are all just on the edge of your seats…

First off, we got accepted to the apartment in Tacoma!  (Yay!)  Of course our credit is crap so they need an extra deposit (Boo!) that we hadn’t calculated into our savings, so we will have to draw a little out of our big savings account which take time (Sigh.)  I’m still waiting to hear from my friend Jewel on what date we will move.  She’s going to fly out and help us drive out, and my dad agreed to do that as well but his schedule is more flexible… It will most likely be mid-July.  Hubster wants to stay in town through the 4th of July.  His fire department sets of the fireworks and various games/parade/festivities, and it will mean a lot to him to be involved with those shin-digs one last time.  But we don’t want to wait until the end of the month either, because Jewel knows she wont be available at the end of the month, and I admit I’m impatient to move and start our fresh new life.

Secondly… drum roll please… I got an official regular schedule from work!  No more texting each evening, trying to decide when and if I will work or have off, unable to plan appointments… unable to anticipate income too.  …  Can I be honest with you guys?  (Shhhh, don’t tell Hubster or Bee!)  I think I will be a little sad when the day comes to give my 2 week notice.  Even though it was a really rocky start, and it continues to be challenging, it is familiar.  I feel like I finally fit in, and am finding good rhythms, and even have the beginning buddings of relationships with my co-workers.  I will be sad to leave that, and have to start all over again.  But I know that this move, to be closer to family and friends and better income and better (in my opinion) climate will be the best thing for us long term.

I had today off (most likely my last random-middle-of-week-off-day) and went for a nice brisk morning walk with Bee, her kids, and two of my dogs Glen and Emma. (I left Radar at home because he seemed a bit sore from a walk I took them all on yesterday.) It lightly misted on us for the second half but I loved it.   It’s been such a wet spring, and Colorado has been in such a drought the last decade, it is so very needed.  Although even I have to admit it has been a little weird, today has been more than overcast ad rainy… the clouds have been so thick, so dark… I keep looking at the clock thinking it is 7 or 8 only to read the clock saying 3 or 4.  However, having this random day off HAS been a great chance to catch up on my blogs, I got about 3/4 read and decided to take a break and write my own post, and then finish up on the last few.  Sipping some hot cocoa, curled up on my couch with Charmed playing in the background (that’s right, I own all the seasons, how cool am I?), and looking forward to America’s Next Top Model Finale tonight!   I am pretty happy.

Last random thought… Mommy Odyssey touched on this a little, and it got me thinking.  When an infertile finally get’s pregnant, sometimes they begin to do all those things that once annoyed them other pregnant women did.  On one hand, I can see that after being to hell and back emotionally, physically and financially they want to enjoy what they have worked so hard for.  But on the other hand…  Just as they once wanted their pregnant friends to respect their infertile emotions/psyche, it seems somewhat obvious that these newly-pregnant ladies should remember their infertile friends and readers during their pregnancy.  It also seems incredibly arrogant to assume that after all they have been through, and read on fellow infertiles blogs, that this pregnancy will be all roses-and-rainbows-and-unicorn-tails.  I think that for those who write posts about their concerns and fears, that feels real.  That feels honest.  And while I don’t wish any harm on them or their babies, and I genuinely hope they have a smooth pregnancy and delivery, I think there is a balance.  Of knowing the realities and the risks, and enjoying what they have currently.  Nobody is going to be perfect at it, one day you may be more optimistic and the other you may be more pessimistic… I don’t think I’m expressing myself very well here.  Just please don’t forget about where you have been, and those of us who are still here.

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7 responses to this post.

  1. Thanks for the shout-out dearie! And congrats on the apartment! Yay Tacoma!

    Reply

  2. congrats on the apartment! so things are falling into place now – that gotta feel really good!

    Reply

    • Thanks! It does seem like stuff is falling into place… Which is weird and very adult. Sometimes I look at my life, and think of where I was 5 years ago, dreaming of what my future would look like, and think it’s all so weird…

      Reply

      • LOL
        I know how you mean
        for me, this is my second marriage
        and thinking back 5 years ago (and trust me, I don’t want to think of where I was 5 years ago), it just is A-MAZING!!!
        So cheers to great life 🙂

  3. Yay on the apt. approval! You sound upbeat and I am happy to hear you are going on walks. Girl, I am forever trying to figure out a way to subscribe to your blog in my reader!!

    Reply

    • Ya, because this is a wordpress, and not a blogger, account I can’t be added to a blogger reader. But you can put your email into the “Stalking for Dummies” in the upper right hand corner of the blog, and you will get an email every time I post. I know it’s not the same, but it’s the best I got :/

      Reply

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