I Think I Just Need a Vacation

Hubster and I got into a big stupid argument yesterday.  Trying to talk more about Washington and our sex life.  And it kind of exploded.  He thinks I’m not supporting his pursuit of firefighting because he has good contacts here to work wild fires.  And he’s upset that I’m not loving our sex life, he assumes that since I have spent the last two years initiating all the sex than if I don’t initiate it then I must not want it and basically he doesn’t know how to initiate sex anymore.  And now he is out of town for work until Friday so we can’t even try to talk about it in person.

*Banging head on laptop*

Seriously, feeling like I can’t win.  Of course I support his firefighting, but he can do that in Washington too.  And there is no such thing as a lease that ends in November when fire season is over. (Around here because it is a college town all the leases pretty much begin and end July or August)  And even if there was such a thing, moving in the late fall/early winter there can be some pretty bad weather and can be dangerous driving.  So then if we decide to wait until the bad weather is gone until next spring we will be facing fire season right around the corner so he wont want to move than…   And when I ask him to just try this for me, he responds with “Well, sounds like a pretty expensive try if it doesn’t work out.”  And I feel like he isn’t supporting me and at least try to take this chance.  I don’t know how to compromise on this.  I’ve been here for SEVEN freaking years.  I dunno what to do.

Am I really being so unreasonable?

The thing I keep telling myself is “Infertility may have taken a lot of crap from me but I refuse to let it take my marriage.  We will work through this stuff and we will be fine.”

I also keep thinking how much the two of us need a vacation.  We haven’t had a real, honest-to-goodness-vacation since our honeymoon over 3 years ago.  Last trip we had was to visit my family out in Washington over Thanksgiving in 2009.  Some couples fight on vacation.  We do great on vacation.  Even just the little trips to see family and stuff we tend to do really good.  We laugh and joke and have our best sex on vacations.  I don’t know what it is about them, getting away from the everyday pressures and worries?  The change in scenery?  I have no idea.

And to top it off, I haven’t gotten Hubster’s SA results back yet.


One response to this post.

  1. *Banging head on laptop*

    OOOoh how I empathize with this.
    Sorry girlie, no words of wisdom for ya today, but I hear ya. Boy do I hear ya.


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